A notary public just left. My wife and I refinanced our home and the title company was nice enough to send the paperwork here. We signed and initialed and the whole process took less than thirty minutes. We had a thirty-year fixed mortgage before but now our interest rate is two full percentage points lower. Having a house is a great responsibility yet I would not trade it for anything. There is much debate over whether one should rent an apartment or get in debt and buy a house. Not all reasons for buying a home can be quantified.
Christine and I have lived in our home for over three years and plan on staying for many more. The apartment we shared for many years was more than adequate but there is no comparison to our current living situation. Every part of this dwelling is ours. When we walk into our backyard we are the masters of all we survey. Along with ownership is the option to change anything we like. There are costs involved naturally but having our home look and feel however we desire is priceless. The more we change the more connected we feel.
It is so quiet! Rarely is traffic an issue even with a corner lot. The only noises are ones that we expect to hear. The floor creaks and the washer is far from silent but these are the only sounds we deal with. There is no door loudly opening and closing, at all hours of the day and night, by people entering a common area. Weird smells are kept to a minimum. The only threat in the kitchen is from my cooking. Apartment dwellers often complain about loud televisions or stereos. Rude people do not come though my door. I can enjoy my music or workbench with nary a complaint.
These are some of the things that get forgotten when people formulate the equation of home buying versus renting. There are numerous intangible factors which a dollar amount cannot be assigned. Having friends over when you like, more space to live and entertain and enjoying a more peaceful and sedate existence are just a few of the benefits of being the king of your castle. There are still some examples of the tastes of the previous owner but what is not broken gets to stay. Plenty of items were changed or replaced the first few years we occupied this house. What is important is that one feels secure in one's environment.
I wrote this post not just because I am happy about saving big bucks through refinancing. It is also that I believe most people take what they have for granted. After almost four years I still get excited when I think of the largest purchase of my life. I will be in debt for many years to come but I will also own something valuable for even longer. The inherent worth of this property is measured in dollars. The other benefits cannot be labeled with a price tag and are too numerous to mention. Our dream finally came true and I am thankful each and every day for what we share together.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Environmentalism For Sale
A recent article in Mother Jones magazine got me thinking. I read about a plan to save trees and forests. Much of our land is already treated as a commodity. In this case though the value would be in saving the trees and land rather than destroying it. The hope is that companies which clear cut to produce their products will fund the saving of forested areas. The businesses would pay money for the rights to print an eco-friendly logo on their product labels. This sounds more like a public relations scheme than a legitimate way to help the Earth.
The first point made in the article acknowledges the formation of a consortium of companies that would gather and formulate the rules. Their first act would be to agree to stop their deleterious ways and make amends, in the form of money, to make up for past sins. A particular dollar amount would then be paid per each acre destroyed before the groups' formation. I doubt any company will be forthright about the exact number they would then be on the hook for.
What I find so silly is the whole "eco-friendly" label concept. Assuming the best-case scenario there would be some areas of our planet saved for future generations. Others would still be co-opted as part of the manufacturing process. The label would signify that some portion of our natural resources have been rescued suggesting that the manufacturer has done its part for our planet. What is ridiculous is that the consumer will never know what land was saved and what was used in the creation of the product they hold in their hands.
The funds paid out for the right to use the eco-label would, in some part, be used to maintain valuable acreage. Developing nations earn as much, if not more, for land rights that would have been sold. Nations must be reimbursed for lost revenue and for the costs of maintenance and upkeep. Assuming that each governing body gets an equal share of corporate funds there is still a flaw in this logic. As land continues to be used in the manufacturing process fewer untouched areas will remain standing. Over time fewer parcels will receive an ever-growing share of money. These areas will end up richer than originally intended and corporations will see less of a reason to keep shelling out for that which is rapidly disappearing.
I have offered a simplistic summary of the program written about in Mother Jones. The details may help to illuminate the process and procedures but my observations were never discussed in the article. There seem to be some obvious questions, some of which I have brought up, that should be asked nevertheless. When companies that base their business model upon the destruction of land offer to help that same land you have to ask why. Paying for the right to label their products differently seems like a smokescreen to me. This is just another example of how corporate funds can make up for any evil they commit.
The first point made in the article acknowledges the formation of a consortium of companies that would gather and formulate the rules. Their first act would be to agree to stop their deleterious ways and make amends, in the form of money, to make up for past sins. A particular dollar amount would then be paid per each acre destroyed before the groups' formation. I doubt any company will be forthright about the exact number they would then be on the hook for.
What I find so silly is the whole "eco-friendly" label concept. Assuming the best-case scenario there would be some areas of our planet saved for future generations. Others would still be co-opted as part of the manufacturing process. The label would signify that some portion of our natural resources have been rescued suggesting that the manufacturer has done its part for our planet. What is ridiculous is that the consumer will never know what land was saved and what was used in the creation of the product they hold in their hands.
The funds paid out for the right to use the eco-label would, in some part, be used to maintain valuable acreage. Developing nations earn as much, if not more, for land rights that would have been sold. Nations must be reimbursed for lost revenue and for the costs of maintenance and upkeep. Assuming that each governing body gets an equal share of corporate funds there is still a flaw in this logic. As land continues to be used in the manufacturing process fewer untouched areas will remain standing. Over time fewer parcels will receive an ever-growing share of money. These areas will end up richer than originally intended and corporations will see less of a reason to keep shelling out for that which is rapidly disappearing.
I have offered a simplistic summary of the program written about in Mother Jones. The details may help to illuminate the process and procedures but my observations were never discussed in the article. There seem to be some obvious questions, some of which I have brought up, that should be asked nevertheless. When companies that base their business model upon the destruction of land offer to help that same land you have to ask why. Paying for the right to label their products differently seems like a smokescreen to me. This is just another example of how corporate funds can make up for any evil they commit.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Environmental Capitalism
I recycle what my city allows. They pick up papers, cans and some forms of plastic. The green movement and Al Gore both influenced this decision. If I am honest with myself I do it because it feels good. What I do is my limited response to the global warming movement. The media reports that scientists are in agreement for the most part over what damage we are causing and the solutions we must enact. Only a few problems exist in which real cause and effect can be observed. These are what our dollars and effort should be focused on.
Two areas, carbon release and temperature change, are hallmarks of the cult of personality made popular by Mister Gore. What may surprise you is that a very small percentage of all carbon released into the atmosphere is due to man. Almost all carbon is due to decaying growth, volcanoes and forest fires. I am also skeptical that industry causes increased temperatures. Readings have only been recorded for a few hundred years yet the Earth is billions of years old. Can we really say that any changes are not part of natural cycles?
Pollution and smog are problems that are observable. Ask any resident of Los Angeles and they will agree. We need to breathe clean air. Asthmatics are not alone in this. Reducing emissions from cars and factories should be a priority if for no other reason than to keep our air from making us sick. Money spent towards this endeavor is fully justified. If it takes greater legislation than so be it. Money can be made by companies willing to tackle this project through innovation and government funding. It is certainly cheaper in the long run to keep citizens healthy.
Coal mining is a necessary evil. What would we do without electricity? Oil wells must be dug as petroleum is integral in creating many goods we use daily. The damage that is done is self-evident. Pristine mountainous ranges are flattened and stripped bare. Alaskan wilderness is destroyed and native species displaced. People often complain that the US is beholden to middle eastern countries for oil. The only way to solve these problems is with alternate fuel sources. Research is the key but people must willing to tolerate these new options. Windmills, for example, have to be placed in someone's backyard.
There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to the environment and our affect on it. We can measure some of what we observe but the long term implications are hard to quantify. This is why I feel it is prudent to work on what problems we have now rather than what may or may not occur down the road. One might argue that by solving what we can today will ensure a better tomorrow. There is a lot of debate from various sides as to what is wrong, what to do and whom to blame. Some might prefer to argue but I prefer our energy be directed towards productive ends.
Two areas, carbon release and temperature change, are hallmarks of the cult of personality made popular by Mister Gore. What may surprise you is that a very small percentage of all carbon released into the atmosphere is due to man. Almost all carbon is due to decaying growth, volcanoes and forest fires. I am also skeptical that industry causes increased temperatures. Readings have only been recorded for a few hundred years yet the Earth is billions of years old. Can we really say that any changes are not part of natural cycles?
Pollution and smog are problems that are observable. Ask any resident of Los Angeles and they will agree. We need to breathe clean air. Asthmatics are not alone in this. Reducing emissions from cars and factories should be a priority if for no other reason than to keep our air from making us sick. Money spent towards this endeavor is fully justified. If it takes greater legislation than so be it. Money can be made by companies willing to tackle this project through innovation and government funding. It is certainly cheaper in the long run to keep citizens healthy.
Coal mining is a necessary evil. What would we do without electricity? Oil wells must be dug as petroleum is integral in creating many goods we use daily. The damage that is done is self-evident. Pristine mountainous ranges are flattened and stripped bare. Alaskan wilderness is destroyed and native species displaced. People often complain that the US is beholden to middle eastern countries for oil. The only way to solve these problems is with alternate fuel sources. Research is the key but people must willing to tolerate these new options. Windmills, for example, have to be placed in someone's backyard.
There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to the environment and our affect on it. We can measure some of what we observe but the long term implications are hard to quantify. This is why I feel it is prudent to work on what problems we have now rather than what may or may not occur down the road. One might argue that by solving what we can today will ensure a better tomorrow. There is a lot of debate from various sides as to what is wrong, what to do and whom to blame. Some might prefer to argue but I prefer our energy be directed towards productive ends.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Giving Tree
We need wood for many things. Trees are felled to build homes and create paper products of all kinds. Companies make money and loggers are put to work. There are a finite number of trees to meet the needs of the world's population. Sustainable logging may be a pipe dream that many of us pretend is real. Anyone who has bought furniture from IKEA or a Christmas tree from a seasonal vendor probably thinks little about where that wood originated. Any way you add it up the preservation or destruction of forests means someone loses big time.
Plenty of what is cut down, be it old growth or rain forests, is done illegally. Developing countries turn a blind eye toward the practice as developed nations accept the import of wood with nary a whisper in protest. Rain forests which help to regulate the environment are lost as are any potential medicines their plants offer. Trees which held onto precious soil, once removed, allow for greater soil erosion which affects nearby water quality. Carbon is released into the air which increases the threat to the ozone layer.
Keeping these sources of wood pristine comes with its own unique price tag. Countries that lose money due to a decrease in commerce must get it from somewhere. Carbon offsets are sold to some while the World Bank must then make up the revenue shortfall. Native peoples who would have been able to farm the land must then look elsewhere for a place to live and a way to earn a living. Strange bedfellows are created when environmental groups collaborate with the very same companies that would have benefited from the logging had it occurred.
I cannot see any middle ground. We both lose and gain when trees are cut and when forests are cleared or saved. The need for all that our tall and leafy friends bestow upon us is undeniable. My desk, my printer and my bathroom all remind me of what gifts mother nature brings. My best hope is that a paper substitute is developed that satisfies us as homes, at least, can now be created with newer and stronger materials. Revenue will be lost no doubt as the practice of logging ends. Maybe someone smarter than me will find a solution to this conundrum?
Plenty of what is cut down, be it old growth or rain forests, is done illegally. Developing countries turn a blind eye toward the practice as developed nations accept the import of wood with nary a whisper in protest. Rain forests which help to regulate the environment are lost as are any potential medicines their plants offer. Trees which held onto precious soil, once removed, allow for greater soil erosion which affects nearby water quality. Carbon is released into the air which increases the threat to the ozone layer.
Keeping these sources of wood pristine comes with its own unique price tag. Countries that lose money due to a decrease in commerce must get it from somewhere. Carbon offsets are sold to some while the World Bank must then make up the revenue shortfall. Native peoples who would have been able to farm the land must then look elsewhere for a place to live and a way to earn a living. Strange bedfellows are created when environmental groups collaborate with the very same companies that would have benefited from the logging had it occurred.
I cannot see any middle ground. We both lose and gain when trees are cut and when forests are cleared or saved. The need for all that our tall and leafy friends bestow upon us is undeniable. My desk, my printer and my bathroom all remind me of what gifts mother nature brings. My best hope is that a paper substitute is developed that satisfies us as homes, at least, can now be created with newer and stronger materials. Revenue will be lost no doubt as the practice of logging ends. Maybe someone smarter than me will find a solution to this conundrum?
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Mea Culpa
I must confess the error of my ways. In some of my posts lately I have offered advice in a more forceful manner than I intended. Rather than speaking with some humility I did so with an air of conceit. Christine has pointed out to me that people take advice better when it is offered in a softer fashion. I have such passion for what I write yet I forget that my readers may have different sensibilities. You cannot force an idea down someone's throat. I have attempted this in some of my posts and for this I sincerely apologize. I will be more cognizant of this in future posts and hope that my strong style of prose has not alienated you completely.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
National Health Care
The debate rages. Democrats want universal health care and Republicans do not. Both sides have valid points. One group, including our president, wants us all to be insured. They believe that insurance corporations are getting rich off of those who can least afford it. Another group believes that citizens can take care of themselves. They feel our government is turning into a nanny state. I humbly offer my version of a middle ground.
Democrats acknowledge that many of us are either uninsured or under-insured. Small business owners cannot afford the added cost of offering insurance to their workers. Universal health care would offer affordable health insurance to all while keeping costs in check. They argue that Medicare, a government run program, has been working well for decades and therefore augurs well for the success of a national program. It is the government's job to keep us well.
Republicans decry any further spending as our national debt keeps growing. They believe that it is up to the individual to meet their own needs and that the free market system works. They suggest that Medicare has been beset by rising costs and myriad instances of fraud. It is not the government's job to meet each and every need of its citizens. There will always be those who have more than others and this is no way suggests failure within our present system.
We as a nation are in greater debt than ever before. I cannot see the benefit of scrapping what works now for a new plan which no one in congress can agree on. Those who have insurance are doing better than they know. I would prefer that our government spends money to fill in the gaps. Offering a public option only to those with little or no insurance would be the best option of all. It would be cheaper and more efficient to help those whom have nowhere else to turn.
Even as Washington discusses and debates the issue we sit by the sidelines and wait. What little specific information offered to the public has been confusing and contradictory. Each side tries to gain the upper hand while simultaneously changing the story they tell us. I cannot say with any certainty whether universal health care is what we need. I only know that people suffer whom have no access to quality care while others file bankruptcy due to rising medical bills. I pray that a solution is found before the next administration.
Democrats acknowledge that many of us are either uninsured or under-insured. Small business owners cannot afford the added cost of offering insurance to their workers. Universal health care would offer affordable health insurance to all while keeping costs in check. They argue that Medicare, a government run program, has been working well for decades and therefore augurs well for the success of a national program. It is the government's job to keep us well.
Republicans decry any further spending as our national debt keeps growing. They believe that it is up to the individual to meet their own needs and that the free market system works. They suggest that Medicare has been beset by rising costs and myriad instances of fraud. It is not the government's job to meet each and every need of its citizens. There will always be those who have more than others and this is no way suggests failure within our present system.
We as a nation are in greater debt than ever before. I cannot see the benefit of scrapping what works now for a new plan which no one in congress can agree on. Those who have insurance are doing better than they know. I would prefer that our government spends money to fill in the gaps. Offering a public option only to those with little or no insurance would be the best option of all. It would be cheaper and more efficient to help those whom have nowhere else to turn.
Even as Washington discusses and debates the issue we sit by the sidelines and wait. What little specific information offered to the public has been confusing and contradictory. Each side tries to gain the upper hand while simultaneously changing the story they tell us. I cannot say with any certainty whether universal health care is what we need. I only know that people suffer whom have no access to quality care while others file bankruptcy due to rising medical bills. I pray that a solution is found before the next administration.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Internet Fantasies
Few of us are rich. Do not gamble with what little you have. In some cases we have no choice. We invest our money now with our eyes on the future. Stock markets and economies are volatile. The real gambling takes place in more than casinos. When greed comes into play we seem to lose our ability to think straight. There are countless ways that one might defraud us in person. My concern is the Internet. Greed has become the key in many popular web-based scams.
You just won the lottery! Do you remember actually entering it by the way? I thought not. To start with no company runs their own lottery. Microsoft and others have enough funds without having to resort to selling lottery tickets. Foreign lotteries are illegal under federal law for your information. Getting paid to send emails to your friends will not get you any freebies either. These are all scams and should be sent straight to your spam folder.
Many people are looking for a job. The opportunities on the web are nonexistent. Offers abound for stuffing envelopes, secret shoppers and other jobs that seem too damn easy. These jobs do not exist in cyberspace or in real life. These come-ons are proffered by those seeking to steal your identity. They ask for more personal information than any real employer ever would. Seriously, how many jobs require you to pay for the privilege of applying?
Your account has been closed. Just click the link provided, fill in some data and all will be well. Sure these emails look real and the sites seem legitimate. In reality your account, be it eBay, your bank or any other, is just fine. If you let fear take over the scam artists win every time. Log in to your account and see for yourself that there is no problem. No legitimate company does business in this way. Call your bank if you need assurance.
Fake lotteries are not the only method of getting your money. Selling products or accepting packages from strangers can also get you into hot water. The last thing you want is to be arrested for accepting stolen goods. Whether you get it as part of a "lottery" or as "extra payment" that check in your hand is a fake. Though it looks real, if you cash it, you will owe your bank a bundle. Only criminals send money and ask for some portion to be wired overseas.
I have laid out the basic facts of some of the more common scams. Put aside greed and fear. Use the common sense God gave you and do not be a victim. If it seems too good to be true it is. It always is! These SOBs from around the globe count on our fear and greed to hook us. Some are better than others when creating their particular scam. There are many variations on only a few themes. Do due diligence the first time and you will have no regrets. Magical thinking never makes what was never real to begin with suddenly appear.
You just won the lottery! Do you remember actually entering it by the way? I thought not. To start with no company runs their own lottery. Microsoft and others have enough funds without having to resort to selling lottery tickets. Foreign lotteries are illegal under federal law for your information. Getting paid to send emails to your friends will not get you any freebies either. These are all scams and should be sent straight to your spam folder.
Many people are looking for a job. The opportunities on the web are nonexistent. Offers abound for stuffing envelopes, secret shoppers and other jobs that seem too damn easy. These jobs do not exist in cyberspace or in real life. These come-ons are proffered by those seeking to steal your identity. They ask for more personal information than any real employer ever would. Seriously, how many jobs require you to pay for the privilege of applying?
Your account has been closed. Just click the link provided, fill in some data and all will be well. Sure these emails look real and the sites seem legitimate. In reality your account, be it eBay, your bank or any other, is just fine. If you let fear take over the scam artists win every time. Log in to your account and see for yourself that there is no problem. No legitimate company does business in this way. Call your bank if you need assurance.
Fake lotteries are not the only method of getting your money. Selling products or accepting packages from strangers can also get you into hot water. The last thing you want is to be arrested for accepting stolen goods. Whether you get it as part of a "lottery" or as "extra payment" that check in your hand is a fake. Though it looks real, if you cash it, you will owe your bank a bundle. Only criminals send money and ask for some portion to be wired overseas.
I have laid out the basic facts of some of the more common scams. Put aside greed and fear. Use the common sense God gave you and do not be a victim. If it seems too good to be true it is. It always is! These SOBs from around the globe count on our fear and greed to hook us. Some are better than others when creating their particular scam. There are many variations on only a few themes. Do due diligence the first time and you will have no regrets. Magical thinking never makes what was never real to begin with suddenly appear.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Medical Advice
Our health directly affects our life. Physical ailments lessen quality while physical wellness increases it. Mental health is just as important. What we think correlates with how we feel. Some health issues we cannot ignore no matter how hard we try. Others may be hidden and take months or years to appear. In either case there is one important thing to remember. See a doctor for what you have and to prevent what you have not.
We are not exactly proactive people. Even if we see the problem approaching we often ignore it until it is too late. This can cause the thing we fear most to occur. High blood pressure, diabetes and other ailments are nothing new. Taking care of ourselves properly occurs sporadically. The last thing we want is a doctor to tell us what we do not wish to hear. Making changes to our lifestyle even when we are slowly killing ourselves is not on our agenda.
Think about it rationally. Would you not rather have a fighting chance to make yourself better? This is precisely why we must get help when we know we are sick. Symptoms become undeniable and our suffering grows. A few small changes or a daily medication is often all it takes to turn the tide. If we know in our heart of hearts what the doctor will say, is it not better to deal with it sooner rather than later? If we wait too long it may be too late. With this in mind one cannot seek help soon enough.
When we feel well is the best time to seek medical attention. Getting a physical exam twice a year is prudent. I would rather have a doctor work harder to find something wrong when I feel well. Let them concentrate on the basics rather than some issue I have been avoiding. Some health concerns will not be seen unless a competent medical professional does the looking. It may seem inconvenient and a damn sight uncomfortable but in the end (no pun intended) there is security in knowing. When the doctor tells you it is time for an annual test then take it. Knowledge is power.
My father-in-law did what was best. He saw a strange spot in his mouth and soon got himself examined. It was determined, after a biopsy, that he had throat cancer. He went through chemo and radiation for months. Cat and pet scans with contrast are no fun whatsoever. He endured discomfort, pain and distress on a scale I can only imagine. In the end he was declared cancer free. His family is relieved and prays that the cancer never returns. It was a painful process but he endured. He got checked out quite early and saved himself from a much worse fate.
Mental health is no less important than physical. We lead worried and harried lives. Stress affects us in more ways than I can count. Our psyches can only take so much battering. A myriad of disorders relate to the condition of our brains. All action begins with thought. Thoughts and feelings that hurt or are negative create related behaviors. Recognizing this within ourselves is difficult. Making connections and seeing patterns of behavior requires objectivity. We are rarely able to be objective when it comes to who we are inside.
Social workers and counselors exist to use as our support system. Our families are certainly part of what keeps us afloat. Our kin cannot be depended upon though as objective appraisers of our inner selves; hence the need for an outsider. The mind is the most complex organ we have. Doctors can only perform surgery on the physical. The non-corporeal is another matter entirely. It is invaluable to have someone to talk to, to get advice from or just to get things off our chest. These advisers offer a safe place free from criticism and judgment.
Finding a good match is not always easy. Christine and I have separately, and as a couple, sought help from professionals many times over the years. Some that you meet may not fully understand us or jump to conclusions. Others might prefer that we fit neatly into their predefined boxes. It takes work and patience to discover that person who can truly add value to our lives. It takes an open mind and open heart as well as multiple sessions to work out our problems. A desire to listen and communicate is the key to getting our lives back on track.
Do not let your concerns become more than you can handle. Your body and mind is more fragile than you know. Medical professionals of all kinds are there to make us well and keep us that way. Testing exists not to torture us but to save us from what may be excruciating later in life. We do not have to be alone. Get help and advice to prevent what you can and seek others to help manage what you have got. Know that your friends, family and higher power want only what is in our best interests. Make sure that you do right by them all and yourself. Do not wait for tomorrow when today can make all the difference for the rest of your life.
We are not exactly proactive people. Even if we see the problem approaching we often ignore it until it is too late. This can cause the thing we fear most to occur. High blood pressure, diabetes and other ailments are nothing new. Taking care of ourselves properly occurs sporadically. The last thing we want is a doctor to tell us what we do not wish to hear. Making changes to our lifestyle even when we are slowly killing ourselves is not on our agenda.
Think about it rationally. Would you not rather have a fighting chance to make yourself better? This is precisely why we must get help when we know we are sick. Symptoms become undeniable and our suffering grows. A few small changes or a daily medication is often all it takes to turn the tide. If we know in our heart of hearts what the doctor will say, is it not better to deal with it sooner rather than later? If we wait too long it may be too late. With this in mind one cannot seek help soon enough.
When we feel well is the best time to seek medical attention. Getting a physical exam twice a year is prudent. I would rather have a doctor work harder to find something wrong when I feel well. Let them concentrate on the basics rather than some issue I have been avoiding. Some health concerns will not be seen unless a competent medical professional does the looking. It may seem inconvenient and a damn sight uncomfortable but in the end (no pun intended) there is security in knowing. When the doctor tells you it is time for an annual test then take it. Knowledge is power.
My father-in-law did what was best. He saw a strange spot in his mouth and soon got himself examined. It was determined, after a biopsy, that he had throat cancer. He went through chemo and radiation for months. Cat and pet scans with contrast are no fun whatsoever. He endured discomfort, pain and distress on a scale I can only imagine. In the end he was declared cancer free. His family is relieved and prays that the cancer never returns. It was a painful process but he endured. He got checked out quite early and saved himself from a much worse fate.
Mental health is no less important than physical. We lead worried and harried lives. Stress affects us in more ways than I can count. Our psyches can only take so much battering. A myriad of disorders relate to the condition of our brains. All action begins with thought. Thoughts and feelings that hurt or are negative create related behaviors. Recognizing this within ourselves is difficult. Making connections and seeing patterns of behavior requires objectivity. We are rarely able to be objective when it comes to who we are inside.
Social workers and counselors exist to use as our support system. Our families are certainly part of what keeps us afloat. Our kin cannot be depended upon though as objective appraisers of our inner selves; hence the need for an outsider. The mind is the most complex organ we have. Doctors can only perform surgery on the physical. The non-corporeal is another matter entirely. It is invaluable to have someone to talk to, to get advice from or just to get things off our chest. These advisers offer a safe place free from criticism and judgment.
Finding a good match is not always easy. Christine and I have separately, and as a couple, sought help from professionals many times over the years. Some that you meet may not fully understand us or jump to conclusions. Others might prefer that we fit neatly into their predefined boxes. It takes work and patience to discover that person who can truly add value to our lives. It takes an open mind and open heart as well as multiple sessions to work out our problems. A desire to listen and communicate is the key to getting our lives back on track.
Do not let your concerns become more than you can handle. Your body and mind is more fragile than you know. Medical professionals of all kinds are there to make us well and keep us that way. Testing exists not to torture us but to save us from what may be excruciating later in life. We do not have to be alone. Get help and advice to prevent what you can and seek others to help manage what you have got. Know that your friends, family and higher power want only what is in our best interests. Make sure that you do right by them all and yourself. Do not wait for tomorrow when today can make all the difference for the rest of your life.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Feeling Overwhelmed
My posts will sometimes reflect my state of mind. It is easier to find subjects when I take examples from my life. This is no exception. I feel like my responsibilities have caused a mental cave-in. I have more to do than time allows which most can relate to. When writing most teachers have told me to refrain from using "I" sentences. It is difficult when I am the subject of what I write. Hopefully together we can discover a solution while we unravel this complex problem.
It is normal to feel frustration. The last thing I want is to make my wife a scapegoat. There are times that I feel alone in my duties. Christine tries to help but she is not always the best at asking the right questions. The only reason I am any good at it is because I take little at face value. For this reason I handle the business aspect of our relationship. I usually have to clean up whatever mess our collective mistakes create.
One might argue that it is the husband's job to take care of the house. Maybe so but I try to educate Christine in case I am not around. Granted I have more time to make calls and file away business papers than she does. Christine has a more than full-time job and has her own stressors to manage. Making time for what you might call a "balanced life" is nearly impossible. My various health issues do not allow for much quality time each day. Some days I am able to accomplish more than others.
Lists are a great way to keep track of responsibilities and prioritize them. They can also be a double-edged sword as they remind us of all that we have not done. Christine also has that effect. She can be nurturing one moment and defensive the next. I have learned a hard lesson from this. People know when they have screwed up. Reminding them gets you nowhere and makes it take even longer to move forward. It is best to create an atmosphere where people feel safe to nurture and safe to admit their mistakes.
This still leaves me in the position I was in before. What does a high-achiever do when they can no longer achieve? Christine likened my lengthy list to a hoarder. We both cannot determine what items, be they physical or written, to simply let go of. Foresight can only take me so far. I think that it may be a matter of deciding what I must let go of. It is about payoff and price. Is the payoff greater than the price I pay, both mentally and physically, to get the job done? It must also be great enough to make it all worthwhile.
People with Fibromyalgia are supposed to take it easy and reduce their stress. On that note it is time to eliminate items with price tags I cannot afford. Sometimes parts of the house will be messy. Some wishes must be set free. A few tasks will die a quick death. My lists will be shortened and my personal time will become better focused. Someday I may learn to accept my new lifestyle. For today I need to learn to accept the new me; no matter how damaged I am. The sooner I do the sooner Christine and I will enjoy peace of mind and peace at home.
It is normal to feel frustration. The last thing I want is to make my wife a scapegoat. There are times that I feel alone in my duties. Christine tries to help but she is not always the best at asking the right questions. The only reason I am any good at it is because I take little at face value. For this reason I handle the business aspect of our relationship. I usually have to clean up whatever mess our collective mistakes create.
One might argue that it is the husband's job to take care of the house. Maybe so but I try to educate Christine in case I am not around. Granted I have more time to make calls and file away business papers than she does. Christine has a more than full-time job and has her own stressors to manage. Making time for what you might call a "balanced life" is nearly impossible. My various health issues do not allow for much quality time each day. Some days I am able to accomplish more than others.
Lists are a great way to keep track of responsibilities and prioritize them. They can also be a double-edged sword as they remind us of all that we have not done. Christine also has that effect. She can be nurturing one moment and defensive the next. I have learned a hard lesson from this. People know when they have screwed up. Reminding them gets you nowhere and makes it take even longer to move forward. It is best to create an atmosphere where people feel safe to nurture and safe to admit their mistakes.
This still leaves me in the position I was in before. What does a high-achiever do when they can no longer achieve? Christine likened my lengthy list to a hoarder. We both cannot determine what items, be they physical or written, to simply let go of. Foresight can only take me so far. I think that it may be a matter of deciding what I must let go of. It is about payoff and price. Is the payoff greater than the price I pay, both mentally and physically, to get the job done? It must also be great enough to make it all worthwhile.
People with Fibromyalgia are supposed to take it easy and reduce their stress. On that note it is time to eliminate items with price tags I cannot afford. Sometimes parts of the house will be messy. Some wishes must be set free. A few tasks will die a quick death. My lists will be shortened and my personal time will become better focused. Someday I may learn to accept my new lifestyle. For today I need to learn to accept the new me; no matter how damaged I am. The sooner I do the sooner Christine and I will enjoy peace of mind and peace at home.
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