Not My Shoes

It has been said that things come in threes. This is my third post about people dealing with people. We all have our individual burden to bear. Our pain is no less nor greater than what our neighbor endures. My wife manages her COPD and I deal with my Fibromyalgia as best I can. We all suffer silently in some fashion. It is easy therefore to think only of ourselves. When we make a decision that may affect others we must put ourselves in the other person's shoes.

My other recent posts cover all that I can say about thoughtful and considerate human interaction. I believe that it takes a strong person to sublimate their own desires in favor of helping another. We can all do this in ways that are big and small. Altruism is a noble pursuit. This is what I hope will develop within you as you read my blog. At the very least we can emerge a bit more from our cocoons and reach out to others. Love and kindness are rewards unto themselves. Try it today. I guarantee you will feel so good inside!

Follow The Rules

Children are taught to always follow the rules. Society as we know it might come to a screeching halt! Which rules to follow and when changes as we age. People become more discerning. There are penalties adults pay when rules are broken. The mind balances the potential rewards with the potential of getting caught. Not much thought is given to how often our laws, or rules, are fractured. I believe that we could all use a good reminder about the benefit of playing by the rules.

State and federal laws must come first. Murder is a big no-no. Paying taxes is another necessary evil along with jury duty. Obeying the speed limit is a must unless one does not mind paying tickets. These laws were enacted with the sole purpose of keeping us safe. Taxes pay for public services. The courts ensure the just are freed and the guilty punished. Traffic is controlled in order to reduce roadway fatalities.

Every city has its share of ordinances that every resident must obey. Trash can only be put out one day a week. Lawns have a height limit. Broken down autos are not to be kept in one's backyard. These and other rules exist so that uniformity is achieved and to protect our property values from falling. Just one ugly home or yard can affect the values of an entire block.

There is also another type of rules that are not written in stone. They might be found in books on etiquette or in a Ms. Manners column. They are covenants of a sort that help to ensure we all get along. It is all about being thoughtful and polite. Saying "bless you" when someone sneezes. Preventing your grocery cart from hitting another shopper. Not invading someone's personal space. They all help us live in peace with each other.

As adults we tend to follow the rules less and rationalize our actions more. An old adage comes to mind: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. As vital as it is to think critically about our actions it is just as important to consider how they affect others and the world around us. I do not wish to sound like a broken record. I have discussed this issue in previous posts. Let this simply be a reminder that other people matter too!

Hidden Consequences

I recall an episode of Judge Judy where a person was sued due to damage to their vehicle. The plaintiff asserted that the defendant had allowed her shopping cart to roll into her car. There was a dent as a result. The defendant claimed that she was not responsible. I still see people who leave their shopping carts everywhere. Individuals do not always consider the consequences of their actions.

So often when shopping for groceries I see carts strewn about. Some take up parking spaces. Others are resting against the side of a stranger's car. I have also seen them abandoned in parks and on street corners. It is the responsibility of the store to gather them up to be sure. In the meantime there are cart corrals where a customer may leave it after they have finished their shopping.

There are other examples of laissez-faire attitudes. Garbage is strewn about our roads and highways. Drivers regularly use their cellphones while commuting. These behaviors are not limited to automobiles. Diners in restaurants care little about the fact that waitstaff is taxed whether or not they receive a tip. It may be natural for a dog to bark but what about the nuisance the noise causes others?

I am sure that you can come up with your own examples of annoying behavior or pet peeves. There are many who just do not care how their actions affect others. I believe that this has a cumulative effect. We develop greater disdain for those whom we do not know. We slowly, over time, become downright selfish. Any behavior can become a habit. Only seeing what affects us is a terrible way to live. Other people simply become roadblocks that we barrel through with nary an afterthought.

Not all of us act in such a cold and careless manner. I am speaking to those who think that as long as their needs are met, what else is there to discuss? There is a world outside of your head. People exist and their wants and needs are as valid as yours. Try to consider others. When you act please do so in a manner that you would expect from another. Selfishness makes one small and petty. Be a big person and let your generosity and caring shine through!

Class Is In Session

I do not remember much of my school years. I attended more than a few institutes of higher learning. There is one aspect of my educational experience that stands out in my mind. I usually hung around with people who seemed to be like me. I always enjoyed being near other computer geeks. Wherever they went I usually followed. This behavior is not unusual. Most young people are more comfortable with those they feel are like them. We tend to carry this mindset over into our adult years. We seem to classify others based upon ingrained prejudices.

It is natural as an adult to try and fit in. We learn this behavior early on in life. As children we are more open to those who look differently than we do. We have not yet learned about societal norms at such an early age. As we age we tend to see people as fitting within various strata. We base these feelings on skin color, income and other factors. As we grow we make decisions based upon which strata we feel most comfortable.

We are not that complicated. The strata above contains those whom we try and emulate. Their lifestyle and opportunities are what we work so hard to obtain. Those below us are those that we look down upon and decide that we are better off in comparison. Reaching for greater heights has its own inherent difficulties such as unrealistic expectations. What I am ashamed of is looking down at others and thinking that we are somehow better and more worthy.

Many times in my own life I have seen those whom I thought were beneath me. It made me feel better about myself to look upon them with such derision. I saw their behaviors and told myself that I would never be like them. I would never do the things that they do. Yet every time I thought this I was proven wrong soon after. Each situation I wrongly believed I would never experience always showed up at my door. I became a fool time and time again.

I really believed that I was better than others. I was so damned sure that there were things I would never do or say. I made many bad choices and got knocked down a peg or two every time. I have learned the hard way not to take people for granted. We are all susceptible to the same vices. Prideful thinking affects all of us. Any one of us can fall from grace. We should be willing to accept the first hand from a stranger trying to pick us up.

We need each other. We are all fallible beings. You never know from whom help will come. When it is offered please take it; no matter their appearance. They may not dress or speak or act like you do. Their donation into the family of man can be as great as yours. Eventually we all end up in the muck and mire of life. Take the hand offered you and be grateful. Be that hand for another. Understand that we are all the same in the eyes of our maker.

My Addiction

I love watching television. There is nothing better than getting comfortable on the couch while getting ready for a good show or movie. I have been an avid viewer since I was a toddler. I remember the first shows I watched. They taught me letters, numbers and moral behavior. Now we have cable that offers hundreds of channels. Almost any taste can be satisfied no matter how obscure. My only complaint is that despite the plethora of choices I find very little that interests me.

As I said there are many themes on many channels. Unfortunately many of these themes have one thing in common. They all come under the umbrella of "reality tv." When did television offer greater reality and truth than our own lives? I do not think that they do. I believe that these reality shows exist for one reason only. They are created to make us feel better about ourselves in relation to the idiots we watch on television.

People are put into situations that are scripted. The scenarios are contrived. The motives are false. From cooking to dating to competing all of these shows are based upon false premises. The producers are creating make-believe and they hope that we will go along with the deception. If ratings are any indication we go along like sheep to the slaughter.

The only reality I have found has become my favorite type of programming. I enjoy documentaries. The subject of such is irrelevant. I enjoy them no matter what they are about. The whole point being that, whatever the issue being discussed, the documentary shows what actually occurs in the world. I enjoy learning about new issues and seeing how other people live. This view cannot be obtained via so-called reality television.

Why do so many people watch this tripe? These are the same people who have no problem gawking at the accident at the side of the road. They certainly will have no compunction when watching the train wrecks offered in prime time. We revel in the misery of others. The Germans and their schadenfreude have not cornered the market; we as Americans have. We cannot help but develop greater contempt for our fellow humans as we lose respect for them on these shows. We all sink deeper into the abyss of immorality.

We need to say no! We must collectively denounce these forms of entertainment as the degrading filth that they are. They do not uplift the spirit nor raise our conscience. We are not asked to strive for greater but to wallow in the muck and mire. The viewer has not gained from the watching of these shows but has lost some part of their humanity. When has abuse become an acceptable form of entertainment?

Turn off the television. Read a book. Take a walk. Have a conversation with someone you have not spoken to in a long time. There are better uses of your precious time. Many activities are like food. Some are like eating empty calories and leave you wanting. Others fill your body and soul and make you feel fulfilled. Some televised offerings are worthwhile if you are selective. Select those that fill you up and not break you down.

My God Is Better Than Yours

So much is done in the name of religion. We pray and attend services. Morality and faith are learned. Lest we forget: Acts of kindness as well as violence occur in the name of whichever Deity we worship. Not all that we do as part of our religion is done with the holiest of intentions. It is a good thing that there are many paths to enlightenment and redemption. What saddens me are the arguments. People still insist that there can be only one way to find God. Maybe and maybe not. What matters is what can be learned from mainstream religion as a whole.

This is not a post espousing one set of beliefs over another. There is room enough on the Earth for all of us to live and learn together. Each religion has its own related holy book. The details may differ but the overall themes remain the same. As I have said before we can learn from each other if we try. We can also learn from the varying perspectives that different religions offer their adherents.

Many themes are universal. Goodness over evil. Hope versus despair. Generosity rather than selfishness. The myths behind the stories vary yet their morals are what tie them all together. Each religion offers its own unique take on history. How we got here and what we are to do as humans is explained. The explanation you receive may depend upon which priest you ask. The fact that we are here and must live in harmony is a theme found throughout all great belief systems.

There is no reason to feel threatened by those whom might worship differently than you. All of us wish to become more faithful and live by the tenants of our particular religious dictates. We need to understand that though the minutiae differs the intent is the same. Look upon your religious brethren as you look upon those around you. We are all but pilgrims on a long journey in search of the truth.

Dying For Nothing

The safety and security of our country is of high importance. It takes many brave men and women to accomplish this task. Many of our soldiers will spend time on the battlefield. They are trained for this. Much of what they witness will be beyond what was covered in that training. They will suffer wounds as a result. Some wounds are visible and some are kept within. We hardly provide what is necessary to treat any injury a soldier is left with.

Young people are recruited with talk of money, glory and fame. The media offers a truer picture of battle than our military does. In reality our sons and daughters are ill prepared for what lay ahead. All the exercise, weapons and discipline cannot adequately prepare one for the unexpected. Basic training is just that. It is the most basic information a soldier needs before being placed on the front lines.

Once they are there these modern-day warriors are not provided with reasonable support and protection. The water they use is often found to be tainted. The clothing is not appropriate for the environment. The vehicles become easy targets due to their lack of armor. If the proper equipment is given there is surely not enough to be given to each who needs it.

As these brave heroes return from battle they soon discover that their country just does not care. The government denies that their ailments exist. They also deny any part our own chemicals might have played. The few VA hospitals cannot possible handle the growing number of those seeking care and treatment. Psychological counseling, which would be of help to all, is rarely mentioned as an option.

We expect our soldiers to work, fight and die for their country. If they somehow manage to survive whatever "military conflict" they are deployed to, they can forget about getting the help they deserve. We use members of the military like they are tissues. They serve their purpose and are just tossed aside. Our men and women of the armed forces deserve better. It is about damned time that we as a nation expend enough money and effort to fix those poor souls whom we have broken. Our humanity demands it!