Clinging Desperately

Discussion and debate goes on everywhere. We express our opinions to our family, our friends, co-workers and even total strangers. Most of this communication occurs because each side is willing to listen to opposing viewpoints. Some people may agree with us from the start. Others may hold a different point of view. There are shades of gray within any topic. When an issue is portrayed in black and white it is being oversimplified.

I take what I am told with a grain of salt. Different experiences and bias affect what may be inherently factual. What helps me to put things in perspective is to look at the big picture. In order to do this one must be willing to acknowledge that other viewpoints exist. One must also respect the fact that others opinions and feelings are legitimate.

There is one technique that essentially kills any further communication between two people. You hear this a lot. It is what sound bites are made of. A person spouts an opinion that so obviously excludes reason and logic that you are left speechless. An opinion that is so radical and extreme that you do not know where to begin to point out the many holes in their story.

Many times this opinion is just the same rhetoric that passes for an informed and educated viewpoint. They might have heard it from their favorite broadcasting personality. It might have come from one of their like-minded acquaintances. What makes these views so dead wrong is that they, by their very nature, eliminate the need for further discussion. It is as if the person is placing their hands over their ears and shutting their mind off completely.

Why do people do this? As frustrating as it is to deal with this lack of intelligent thinking we must feel sorry for them. It takes patience, time and a modicum of gray matter to consider the big picture. Some individuals are afraid. They do not truly understand the world around them. They cannot comprehend, nor can they cope with, the changes that most of us deal with on a regular basis.

Fear is not the only reason people spout such radical viewpoints. After all, we tend to fear what we do not understand. Another reason is weakness. It takes internal strength and fortitude to manage what comes our way. The world can be a cruel mistress. Not all that happens to us in our lifetime is directly related to our actions. There are those that are too weak to handle the myriad changes in their world.

Through fear and weakness people desperately want to have a handle on things. They spew forth meaningless drivel in an attempt to appear informed and intelligent. They wear their ignorance like a protective cloak. But like the emperor's clothes we can all see what they cannot. What they believe to be a solid argument we see as a transparent attempt to shield themselves from the truth. The ignorant can be educated. Those that stupidly cling to prejudice and stereotypes are a lost cause.

The next time you are confronted with one of these conversation ending viewpoints just keep walking. Do not waste your time or breath trying to debate with a hard head. Extreme individuals do not wish to have an intelligent discussion. Their self-satisfaction and self-assurance that they are right is all that they require. Arguing with them just feeds into their need for attention. They want an emotional reaction. Stay calm and focused. Just go on your way as you say a silent prayer that someday their head and heart might soften a bit. Then again, you might pray for the ultimate punishment. Maybe they will come across someone who is just like them!