Family Ties

Sometimes I feel like an anthropologist. Just a few blocks from me lives the Martin family. Their household is made up of a mom, a dad, two sisters and two Shih Tzus. I visit them often and observe their daily activities and hear about their daily lives. Both parents work and the girls attend school and enjoy extracurricular activities. I am the girls' uncle and enjoy spending time with whomever happens to be home when I arrive. Through all of my observations I have learned that the family dynamic is never as simple as it may seem.

I try to stay out of any family squabbles. I listen patiently whenever a family member tells me their side of things. I certainly do not discipline the girls. It is, after all, their parents' job and I would rather somewhat spoil them instead. Keeping my distance and not assuming things helps me to see and understand; in some cases better than the Martins themselves. I find it fascinating how despite different personalities and different needs the family is a cohesive unit.

The mom is quite frenetic. She gets uncomfortable with having time to herself. She certainly likes to complain to my wife just how busy she gets. Despite this she somehow makes time for herself and the rest of her family. It was never easy for her growing up in her big sister's shadow. It was no easy task to prove herself worthy and capable of being a wife, mother and homemaker. I tried to be her cheerleader when others would doubt her chances of success. After many years of trial and error she has more than proven herself capable.

The dad is sometimes quiet yet is quite aware of what goes on inside the home. He may not always speak his mind but he is never afraid to do so. He has struggled with education and employment issues like many others. What matters is that he has found a career that meets his needs and suits his personality. His previous employment often took him away from his loved ones. He now gets to spend the time with his family whom he puts first in all that he does. Dependability is a label, I believe, that he may wear with pride.

The girls are real pistols. They are just a bit too smart and astute for their own good. When they speak their minds, which is quite often, they are tactful. It still takes my wife and I by surprise how smart and quick-witted they can be; especially the younger one. Christine and I have tried to figure out from whom they inherited their personality traits. It seems that various members of their extended family donated parts of themselves which have all helped to make the girls who they are today.

Despite their flaws I can say with real conviction that the Martin family should be an example for many. I realize that my love for them may affect my appraisal. There is just so much that I see that tells me that their family dynamic is a healthy one. All of what creates togetherness and love in a household is easily identifiable in the Martin clan. Personality conflicts and hardship has caused them pain and strife over the years. What is most important is that, over time, their strength has increased and their love for one another has flourished.