If Only

Daily I live with feelings of regret. It is difficult to discuss this issue. Certain people may take what I write out of context. Some decisions I have made have been in my best interests. Others, though minor, affected people in negative ways. By writing about this subject I hope that my thoughts will give comfort to others. I have found that the best way to look at the past is to simply leave it there in my mind.

I cannot change what was. There is to time machine that would allow me to fix what I believe might be broken. There are plenty of embarrassing moments from my past that I wish had never occurred. Certain actions I probably should not have taken. Words misspoke or unsaid I cannot now change. Maybe I am too hard on myself? My wife certainly thinks so.

There must be many others who can relate to what I mean. How many moments from your own life are there that did not quite go as planned? We are not perfect beings. I have found that it is best to just let things be. What happened is over and will never be revisited. There is no point in feeling bad about that which we cannot change.

Overall I am proud of who I am and where I am today. If any of us could change these small moments of regret we might alter our life's path irrevocably. One might argue that there is a reason that we are who we are today. The same holds true for those with whom we interact. All of these moments, whether painful or embarrassing, are necessary for us to later become the adults we are now.

We cannot tinker with the fabric of our lives nor should we. Regret, pain and just feeling bad must sometimes occur if we are to grow and thrive. There must be a balance with times of joy and happiness. Good and bad are two sides of the same coin. I do not mean to sound trite but without knowing hurt we could never know happy.

I still have times when old memories surface and rear their ugly heads in my mind. I momentarily cringe and say to myself, "what the hell was I thinking?" I take a deep breath and remind myself that over time I cannot really be sure what happened. The mind tends to either romanticize or worsen an event in our memory. Either way I repeat this mantra: All that matters is here and now.

Let us try and do the best we can today and leave the past in the past where it belongs. Do not allow faded memories to have more power over you than they deserve. We should all be proud of just who we have become and optimistic about our future potential. Naturally there will be more moments that we might later regret. Forgive yourself and move on mentally. Do not dwell on the past lest you wish to become stuck there forever.