Not Very Likely

I encourage everyone to read. Books are a precious resource as any librarian will tell you. I enjoy walking around my local library as well as big box bookstores. Some of the most popular and highest selling novels revolve around ideas that I find ridiculous. It is not the latest vampire craze I am referring to; although that is pretty silly. There are three subjects that are not worth the paper they are printed on.

Astronomers look up at the stars to gaze at the panoply that nature offers. Astrologers look up as well in hopes of predicting their day. A small segment of the population fixes their eyes, and their cameras, on what they hope is evidence of alien life. Apparently their local Home Depot parking lot does not offer enough proof of alien activity. This vocal minority truly believes that somewhere in our universe life must exist. Frankly the only anal probing I worry about is during my annual physical.

My turgid sense-of-humor aside I am not concerned in the least about possible alien existence. I look at the issue logically. If extra-terrestrials were to someday visit Earth en masse we might be shocked for a little while. News coverage would be hot and heavy for a few days. What do they look like? What do they want? Would they like a cup of tea? After the furor dies down we must get back to our lives. People still have to show up at work. The lawn must still be managed. I mean, really! Pictures of Britney Spears will not post themselves!

It is the end of the world as we know it and I am okay with that. 2012, apparently the end of the Mayan calendar, marks the end of civilization. Dozens of books and even a feature length film have all been created to memorialize, commemorate and scare the bejeezus out of us. I guess the world is going to end and there is nothing we can do about it. So much for those pesky student loan payments! Did the Mayans have some secret knowledge or were they just too lazy to make any more calenders?

If the world is, in fact, ending there is not a damn thing anyone can do. If these books' purpose is to inform us I see no point. We are "SOL" and have no real options. If someone is that afraid then a peaceful suicide is always a possibility. Any scientist worth their bunsen burner can tell you that our planet has been here for millions of years and will very likely be here for millions more. I hope these doom and gloom authors do not really believe their own bullshit. If so then they only have a few more years to spend their royalties.

What happens when we die? Atheists believe that all we do is fertilize the soil. The desire to understand what occurs after death is part and parcel of many religions. Sometimes the dead return to help us or haunt us. Zombies are quite popular lately. If it were not for them authors would have no reason to rewrite so many stodgy classic novels. Ghosts and spirits inhabit our world for reasons only they can know. Maybe they got sidetracked by a sale at Neiman Marcus on their way to the light?

The belief that places are haunted is quite common. It always seems to be some old house or former sanitarium that is rife with apparitions. Why is it never an Armenian Walmart? Some might argue that the dead leave behind their energy or "life force" which cause disturbances. The only thing disturbing is that so-called "intelligent" people truly believe in such nonsense. When you die, that is it, game over. Science proves that the only shadows are the ones objects make while standing in the sun.

I still cannot understand such irrational thinking and behavior. Ever since reading books by James Randi, et. al. I cannot help but be a skeptic. There is plenty that physically exists that we are still deciphering without having to look for more. A truism neatly applies to these unscientific notions. There is no point worrying about that which we cannot control. Some individuals have the need to concern themselves with thoughts derived from pure fantasy. To them I say: Do not worry! When the world ends in a few years aliens will swoop down to save us all. How do I know? A very reliable ghost told me.