Who Is Special?

We as humans are walking contradictions. When we experience something painful or stressful we wonder. We wonder if others have had the same experiences. There are times that knowing we are not alone would make us feel better. Conversely we desire to feel special. Individualism drives us as we try to establish just who we are. The contradiction is between these two concepts. Are we like everybody else or are we simply one of a kind?

There are everyday occurrences that we know through experience are ones most people deal with. When rarer experiences occur we tend to feel confused and alone. Intellectually we know that other people must have gone through it before. We need to hear it from others. Depending upon one's support system one might have an easier time than another. Support groups, on or off the Internet, are widely available. It is not too hard to find someone who can understand just where we are in life.

Everyone wants to feel special. A kind word from a co-worker or loved one helps to instill these feelings within us. We begin to work toward individualism as teenagers. The way we talk, dress and the people we associate with are all part of defining our identities. As much as we wish to be like no other we tend to blend in regardless. It is only as we age and have greater choices do we begin to form the real person inside.

I see an overlap with all that I have said. When we are stressed or feel trapped we need help from others. Understanding that others have walked your path lifts a weight off of our shoulders. By doing this we see we are not so different after all. The downside is that if this is so we cannot be as special as we thought. Sometimes we need to believe the fallacy that our thoughts and feelings are truly original.

For some there is no other way to feel special. Even if it means being the loner or rebel, no matter how painful this may be, some choose to distance themselves from the rest of society. This is a negative way to make yourself feel like no one else can understand you. It feeds into a form of ego that says that one must be special if no one else understands them. It is unhealthy in the long run. It is like a child who gets negative attention as this becomes better than none at all.

My point is that we need to feel understood and misunderstood both at the same time. We want to be seen as approachable yet also as an individual. We are part of the world around us yet we are alone when the need arises. I see this is an inherent contradiction in all people. The solution is to support and be open to being supported. Our own inner dialogue is enough to sustain our need to feel special. It is possible to have a world of individuals whom have much in common.