The Reasons I Write

Writing can be a chore. As someone who wishes to become better at his craft this is a poor attitude indeed. I believe that it is important to be honest. Deciding what to post is not always easy. I tend to concentrate once a week on my other Dan Kravitz blog. There I have a clear-cut goal of writing objective articles. Here I may write based upon any number of styles and purposes.

There are times I wish to inform the reader. I offer advice or information that hopefully serves some useful purpose. Christine has taught me that people take advice better if it is offered softly. This means that most adults do not like being told what to do. We would rather believe that an idea was ours originally or that we would have thought of it ourselves eventually.

Some of my thoughts seem philosophical in nature. These posts come from some idea that has been bouncing around in the nether-regions of my mind. I see the world through the eyes of an artist. Some might say a poet due to the style of of my musings. This is not my ego talking. There are just some aspects of existence that I ponder and then write about in hopes of developing some level of understanding.

Current events bring out the social-commenter in me. There are some events that occur in which I cannot remain silent. I feel strongly about the subject and hope that I can add something useful to the discussion. Too often the only opinions you hear are so extreme they would be laughable if it were not for the seriousness of the speaker. Divisive issues divide the public but knee-jerk reactions help no one.

Considering everything it is a wonder I write at all. There is so much distraction in my life that I tend to let this blog fall through the cracks. I have to wonder though what the point is after all. What is most useful to most is to read words that are uplifting in nature. We all, from time to time, need to hear kind words that pull back the curtain of sadness. Getting past my own problems makes this task so very difficult.

What I wish to do most is only impossible if I see it as such. I have decided that my whole point in writing, besides honing my craft, will be to offer words that encourage and even offer hope. This will take work. It is not always easy to see the sunny side of life. But doing this will force me to see the positives in my own life despite my personal pain. What I need, what we all need, are positive thoughts that lead to positive outcomes.

I may still comment on day-to-day happenings or post some bits of personal philosophy. No matter what I write about the end result will be that the reader will feel empowered as they see that no situation is hopeless. We may feel that what we experience is new and different but we are far from alone. Much of what humans think and feel can be related to countless others. No one is truly alone in the grand scheme. Sometimes the room just seems too quiet and our own voice may echo back at us. Believe me when I tell you, gentle reader, we are all together in this thing called life.

To Light The Way

Our path is not always clear. We all go through life trying to attain goals. As we come to so many forks in the road we do our best to make right decisions. The tools at our disposal may be limited. Intellect, instinct and past mistakes all help to guide us to, what we hope will be, the best outcome. Sometimes these things are not enough and we must look toward others to light the way.

Throughout history there have been famous names. These individuals have been recognized for their humanitarian efforts. Although we may be inspired by their stories these are not the people that directly affect us. What they accomplished was on such a grand scale that most of us cannot truly relate. I believe that it is the everyday person that adds value to our lives.

We interact with them everyday. There is the person who hands you something you dropped. On the road we find the good samaritan who will let us into the lane. Others bring even more benefit to our lives. Acquaintances offer us good advice borne from a quick conversation. Even strangers might notice our plight and offer invaluable assistance. My point is that it is the everyman that helps us without us ever realizing it.

I see these human beings as shining lights. They help to illuminate parts of our path as we travel. Some may call them angels but my view is more grounded. There are those whom are special and they are dispersed throughout the world. They are like lanterns whose inner glow helps to stave off the darkness that threatens to engulf us. Bad people make bad things happen. Life has always been, in some basic sense, about the struggles we face daily. This is why I am thankful for these bright spots we encounter when we most need them.

Choice

We are spoiled for choice. Cable companies offer hundreds of channels. Grocery stores contain thousands of products. Auto makers provide every car for every budget. We may feel that we have little time to choose but many decisions must be made on a daily basis. Recent articles I have read decry the fact that very few conglomerates create the majority of the products available in the retail market. They argue that so much of what could be manufactured is not and that we, the American public, suffer because of it. I think that life is hard enough with all the choices we have already.

I have no doubt that although many brands exist they are ultimately owned by a small handful of global companies. This is the nature of capitalism and I do not see the problem. Survival of the fittest is true whether we are talking about the jungle or the boardroom. And frankly there is not much of a difference between the two. In the long run I cannot see how the consumer is being denied anything. Take any category of retail spending and the options that exist are so many that even warehouse style stores cannot possibly carry them all.

Grocery stores may not have the exact brand you like but for every product there is always variety. Bookstores concentrate on what sells but if you look closely you will see tens of thousands of titles in a myriad of categories. As if the hundreds of channels on television were not enough we can now watch hundreds of shows on demand as well. Music and movies are the same. Whatever you can imagine can be bought or rented from sources as diverse as the Internet or at kiosks at grocery and drug stores. While it is true that our personal preferences may narrow our choices this does not diminish the panoply of all that we can enjoy if we so desired.

We are one of the richest nations in the world. Manufacturers and purveyors of every form of entertainment cater to almost every whim. If there is a buck to be made there is someone somewhere fulfilling that desire. If a niche is already being served there is an entrepreneur somewhere creating a new one. We are not lacking for choice. I still walk into large stores and feel my head spin as I take in the scene before me. We have more than our budgets or schedules will allow. If anything I wish that companies would produce a bit less and simplify the process a bit more.

Indian Death

The majority of Indians live in poverty. Many are employed in industries I mentioned in the previous post. There are two areas in particular, farming and waste management, that provide jobs yet involve great sickness and death. When one is poor, and has a family to support, any means of earning money is preferable to starvation. Why worry about tomorrow when today is by no means a sure thing?

Farming is one of the oldest professions. Feeding a family or a village is seen, not only as a noble pursuit, but also as integral to a society. In India, like in almost anywhere else in the world, farming has been taken over by large corporations. Agribusiness, as it is called, is a multi-billion dollar enterprise dominated by just a few corporate behemoths.

Most farmers in India have a small plot of land to cultivate, seed and grow crops. They usually only grow enough to feed their families and sell in local markets. The money earned helps to feed, clothe and send their children to school. As with any crop grown one must start with seed. It is the seed that is at the heart of the problem.

The agronomist knows that the only seed that is guaranteed to grow is that which has been genetically modified to do so. This seed does not come cheap. The subsistence farmer has already taken a loan out just to buy necessary farm implements such as a tractor. The seed, expensive as it is, must be purchased anew each season. Food grown from it will not produce viable seeds that can be replanted. Hence the need for a new supply each year.

As the seeds have been modified so too has the fertilizer. This must be purchased every year from local distributors. This is the method corporations use to ensure steady profits year after year. Their seed, their chemicals, their way. It does not take much to figure out that many poor farmers, caught up in this cycle of greed, are doomed to fail. Too often not enough money is earned to pay for the loan and the bank comes to repossess whatever that loan money paid for in the first place.

An alarming trend has developed because of this all too common scenario. Indian farmers, in their shame and disgrace, have committed suicide en masse. Some have ingested the fertilizer they could scarcely afford. Others have been found by their wives hanging from trees. Tens of thousands have taken their own lives since the 1990s when statistics began to be tabulated.

Some of these farmers grew foodstuffs, some farmed cotton for clothing, while others raised corn for use in mass-production. No matter what the crop was the farmer became caught in a genetically modified trap that they could never escape from. This is but one example of how enormous corporate profits have been made on the backs, and even on the graves, of those least able to fight back.

There is one other method that Indians use to eke out a living that causes death. Their demise does not come swiftly. It is a slow and painful process. It is one that makes suicide seem infinitely more humane. Much of the waste materials that we, the American people create, is hauled by boat to India to be sorted, processed and reused. Our trash ends up in giant heaps that poison the landscape as much as the populace.

Castoff computers are a good example of the types of trash Indians manage. Dismantling takes place in order to procure the trace minerals that can be smelted and resold. The danger lies in the method used. Large fires are set in order to burn off the plastic casings. Poisonous clouds fill the air as mercury, cadmium, arsenic and lead are inhaled by the scavengers. It does not take a rocket scientist to imagine all of the painful lingering diseases these workers contract. Whether death comes fast or slow it will inevitably arrive.

This is how poor many of these people are. They are so poor in fact that they must risk their health and well-being just for the chance that our trash might make them a few dollars. This is sad and this is sickening. I do not normally subscribe to the belief that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. In this case though this saying seems less than trite.

Admittedly India is not the only country with these problems. There are more than a few nations which see large migrations of poor from the countrysides travel to the inner cities looking for greater opportunities. As these latest posts have shown India is by no means lacking the will to survive. The chances the poor have there to prosper are varied. It is the quality and sustainability of these chances that must begin to improve.

Indian Labor

Outsourcing has become a dirty word. Since the signing of NAFTA there have been countless American jobs sent elsewhere. This may spell doom for our country or be a natural offshoot of globalization. Either way it is here to stay. The whole issue should not be a surprise as many retail products have been made in Asia for decades. What is interesting to note is the range of jobs that have been outsourced to India.

The first place that this outsourcing affects us is at the dinner table. Much of the farming in India is substantive yet not for the benefit of the local populace. Food grown there, in massive quantities, is for either of two purposes. Crops are cultivated for use as food additives, as in the case of corn, or more often for the formulation of bio-fuels. Farmers growing food for local use is rare as the cost of machinery and supplies is more than most families can afford.

As I mentioned there are many products we use that are made in Indian factories. Any place where the labor is cheap and regulation is lax becomes quite attractive to U.S. manufacturers. It is not just goods but services as well that have traveled overseas. Computer technology professionals are as skilled in India as any other developed country. Much of the computer code that is written for companies, large and small, is created by Indian workers. Let us not forget customer service positions. The calls we make to get help for any number of issues are routinely answered by those employed in overseas call centers.

These jobs that are performed by non-U.S. citizens are really no surprise. Anyone who reads a newspaper should be quite familiar with these realities of global capitalism. There are a few other jobs that have been co-opted by our Indian brethren that you may not be familiar with. It is these that concern me the most. When safety and human rights are trumped by those looking to make a quick buck, or save one, alarms should go off in the minds of thinking individuals.

Surgery, regardless for which body part, is an expensive proposition. Even those whom have insurance may spend more out-of-pocket than they can afford. Hospitals in India are more than happy therefore to offer their professional medical services at rates that severely undercut their American counterparts. In some cases the necessary surgery involves replacement of a failing organ. While waiting lists for donors grows ever longer here there are Indian citizens willing to sell their organs for a nominal fee.

What may shock and appall is the booming surrogacy business in India. Women who willingly sign up offer their bodies as incubators for infertile Americans. Couples here whom cannot conceive via natural methods can travel abroad and have their eggs implanted in willing surrogates who get paid upwards of $15,000 U.S. The women there are quarantined in dorm-like rooms for the full gestational period where they are monitored and kept healthy. They receive no visitors and are not allowed to take even one step outside.

I do not know how to feel about these issues. I understand certain fiscal realities dominate the retail landscape. Goods and services will always be offered by whatever country makes it easy and affordable for the business owner. When we talk about human beings and their bodies I get worried. Medical services do not come cheap no matter where one may reside. Placing a figurative price tag on a human body, be it for parts or for the whole, is demeaning. When we are told to value life in all its forms I do not think we are meant to take it literally.

A Few Random Thoughts

Just a reminder to all: My new blog is called Dan Kravitz and contains objective article length posts that I write on a weekly basis.

Over the years I have worked with individuals whom have bragged about how good they were with children. They would exclaim that they just loved kids. What I inevitably discovered was that their temperament and demeanor was not conducive to winning over children's' trust. Fear is no way to get a child to fall in line. Another thing I discovered was that, despite my lack of experience with children, I have gotten a much better response from them whenever we interact. I have never proclaimed myself to be good with kids and I certainly have none of my own. The lesson I discovered is two-fold. Never patronize a child and always speak to them on their level. This philosophy has rarely failed me in my efforts to connect with anyone underage.

People protest en masse, all over the world, for any type of perceived injustice. Some feel that it is their job to incite violence or to instigate mass looting of innocent business owners' stores. Most peaceful protesters simply stand around with like-minded people and hold up signs with pithy slogans. I have to wonder though how much their efforts help their cause or whether they ever intended change in the first place. The more likely motivation for many of these soap box standers is nothing more than fulfilling their innate need for self-satisfaction. They stand there with smug affects, attitudes of superiority and a goal of nothing more than a display of self-righteousness. Their egos rather than selflessness is what brings so many together in the first place.

I have never tried to hide the fact that I have seen various types of therapists over the years. There have been many so-called "professionals" whose job has been to label my issues and guide me to a workable solution. In reality very few were able to be of any assistance whatsoever. The few that did help me were the ones who took the time to get to know me as a person and deal with me on that basis rather than as a walking diagnosis. Two statements seemed to reoccur with alarming frequency during my various counseling sessions. It was as if all of these people attended the same school of pseudo-psychology.

The first bit of advice offered was that I must get rid of my baggage. They were not referring to my fabulous set of leather luggage made by Samsonite with a retail price of... but I digress. I must have been channeling Bob Barker for a moment. No they were talking about my baggage as in emotional. Some actually used the term baggage, some mentioned luggage while other less articulate individuals simply called it my "shit." No one could see it but they were damn sure I took it everywhere with me. Their solution to this carry-on problem? They had none. But they assured me that if they had a magic wand they would surely wave it over me and make everything alright. Unfortunately for me they just as quickly disabused me of the notion of their therapeutic wand and destroyed the equally imaginary faith I had in their abilities.

Supreme Ignorance

A corporation is not a person. It can neither breathe nor can it vote. Common sense tells me this is so. Apparently though the highest court in the land disagrees. According to a recent vote of 5 to 4 a corporate entity has the right to donate large sums of cash to any and all politicians, no matter what office they hold and regardless if they are incumbents or not. This decision by the majority of the nine wise souls in Washington is based upon nothing more than a blind adherence to their political ideology.

I would like to be more optimistic about the judge's motivations but their decision defies all reason in my book. Let me mention the one and only one reason I can see for corporations to be allowed to act as individuals. It is true, of course, that what politicians do may affect, either positively or negatively, corporate profits. This cannot be sufficient cause for the court's ruling. The overwhelming harm that this decision will cause outweighs the one pro argument I mentioned above.

The whole idea behind voting is that each is no more or less important than any other. One person gets one vote. What could be more fair? Even when individuals donate money to various candidates there is a limit to how much and how often. Realistically one citizen cannot sway an election any more than another. The supreme court has radically changed what was, to quote Fox News, a fair and balanced process. Corporate powers may now dip into ever growing war chests to virtually ensure their choices are either elected to or remain in their respective offices.

This goes against everything the founding fathers held sacred. In no way did they intend that just because a company grew so large and employed so many that they would somehow be entitled to a separate set of rights from their own employees. Capitalism is a fine thing which enables much of the higher quality of life we all enjoy. I do not have a problem with any company's growth no matter how large. What I see as so abhorrent is the idea that a company, made up of people, is somehow ascribed rights as if it were a person.

The truth of the matter is that, even when a corporation spends its money, it is only the few at the top who get to decide how it is allocated. It is not as if each employee gets to have a say in the matter. It is quite possible that the people whom a corporation support politically may be detrimental to the very people that helped to create profit in the first place. This is how it has always been. Those at the top of the ladder care about those underneath insofar as they continue to help to keep them at the top. This may seem cynical but I cannot be sanguine toward the issue of more money equals more power. It is from this that inequality is borne.

I truly believe that the majority decision of the court was nothing more than giving the members of the Republican party what they wanted. Little thought was put into the decision as those who put them on the court were appeased. This is political partisanship at its worst. There has been a feeling by many, with various court decisions as evidence, that most of the court's pronouncements are being divided along party lines. It is true that many landmark cases heard by the highest court have helped to right many of society's wrongs. In this case though they have done the opposite by legalizing and legitimizing a new form of inequality.

Faith

I am reading a new book. It is filled with philosophical conundrums. The introduction compares philosophy to religion. The argument is that the former can be justified where the latter cannot. Over the years I have read this assertion in reference to many areas of study. Every group of thinking individuals places their interests above religion. They argue that faith is unscientific and therefore less than worthy of serious consideration.

It is true that religion and faith are intertwined. While many intellectuals disapprove of religion in its many forms, they also by proxy, damn the concept of faith as well. This is patently unfair. No matter what one believes in, no matter the area of science or humanities, faith is part of the equation. Belief in what we espouse is a given or why else would we think it or say it?

Faith is not solely a religious concept. I have faith I will wake up in the morning and that wild elephants will not trample me once I do. I am simply tired of being told that logic and reason are somehow concrete and yet faith is the lifeboat that the simple minded hang on to. No matter what we do or think or say there will always be an element of belief.

Believing in yourself and in your abilities is not a human failing. All of these brilliant minds in various fields should know this. Why is it so dangerous to mix what one can prove with what one cannot? Seeing and believing, no matter how persuasive the argument, requires some amount of faith. This should not be a dirty word.

I am not trying to prop up religion nor defend it from attackers. My assertion is that faith is universal. Are we so cocksure that our ability to think and behave reasonably is infallible? Of course not. What we learn so often changes or is replaced with new information. There are always limits to what we can and do know. The best we can do is take things with a grain of salt and be prepared to change our minds.

The Nature Of Time

The concept of time is subjective. We have inner clocks that affect us physically. Waking before the alarm or feeling jet leg after a plane ride are two examples. Mentally we feel time rather than intellectually track it. When having fun time flies by. Waiting in a dentist's chair seems like an eternity. Various mechanisms measure time in an exacting fashion but our minds handle it in a way that cannot be quantified.

Our past is filled with emotions. We tend to either romanticize that which was pleasurable or mourn that which was painful. Learning lessons comes from past actions. Some of us forget while others replay certain scenes over and over. Defining what qualifies as the past is a difficult proposition. Every second that passes, by its very nature, becomes the past. Where is the line of demarcation between the past and present?

This brings us to the next period. Here and now means different things to different people. This day, this week or this month may be the present depending upon whom you ask. What is current is known as the present be it one day or one decade. An old adage encourages us to live in the moment. I do not think that this is at all possible. The only way to relive an experience is to allow our minds to see it as the past. Maybe the only purpose of present events is to give us experiences to look back upon. This gives humans a sense of meaning and continuity.

The time that goes by during any experience is short yet these memories take on a life of their own. We can see them again and again in our mind's eye. In this way we can relive any interaction to our heart's desire. How we view these mental movies is tempered by experience and knowledge we have acquired since the date of the original. We tend to frame our past experiences in terms of present attitudes, circumstances and emotional states.

The line between the past and present is blurred. We need to be here today yet we still feel from our yesterday. It is natural to learn from the past and wish to make tomorrow better by the choices we make in the present. This planning, this hoping, causes us to look to the unknown which is the future. Try as we might we cannot know what tomorrow will bring. Our best laid plans are often compromised by the uncertainty of future events. It is impossible to account for all possible permutations and results of our own actions let alone the actions of others.

It is little comfort to me that we can measure time, almost control it, in a mechanical fashion. The reality is that I cannot conceive of time before I existed. The meaning of eternity is just as elusive. The closest that any of us can come to fully grasping the truth of our lives in relation to the cosmos is the calendar. A calendar is the one thing that so clearly represents the past, present and future. I only wish that I could wrap my mind around the concept of time as easily. That is probably about as likely as another person wrapping their mind around this post.

Why Bad Feels So Good

Good news does not sell. Broadcasting the news brings in viewers. Viewers create advertising dollars. People only watch the news because it is bad. News organizations cater to our basest nature such as our innate desire to look at an accident on the freeway. If we are honest with ourselves we watch the news or read the paper looking for what has gone wrong in the last twenty-four hours. Learning about bad news makes us feel good.

Local news, national news and even talking-head type shows all display the negative. We learn of local deaths, fires and corruption. When larger misery occurs it gains national attention. Various pundits tell us each night about the atrocities committed by the other party. It is as if getting upset excites us. Physically there must be a need, built into our DNA, that requires upsetting emotional input. The dismay, shock and anger we feel brings on some kind of sickening rush of adrenaline.

Of all the publications I have ever seen, and I have read hundreds, I can count the number that have a positive slant on the fingers of one hand. What we read about for the most part are problems. Money is made by publishing and printing all that is wrong with the world. Can you imagine any form of media solely dedicated to all that people do that is right and good? The truthful answer is no.

We learn of all these atrocities, here and abroad, in seconds. Each story is little more than a soundbite. They are thrown at us one after another in a manner that numbs the senses. Surprise, horror, shock, dismay or complete ambivalence are the reactions we offer in return. Anyone who says they are just watching so they do not miss the weather or sports scores is full of shit. We watch because we are entertained.

If we were not receiving pleasure on some level we would simply do something else. This is why there are multiple choices for the viewers. If one station does not offer details graphic enough or details to our liking we change the channel. I will go so far as to suggest that it is our prurient nature that is satisfied when we learn of bad news. I am sure most would argue with my assertion. Yet to them I ask one simple question: If the news is so filled with the vile and evil that is humanity why watch each and every night?

We watch and we read and we discuss because there is a payoff. Any amateur psychologist will tell you that the reason for any behavior is that there is a benefit. We gain something from the act. Liking the act or feeling good or bad is irrelevant. All behavior is linked in some way to a real or perceived benefit. And what sickens me the most is that the benefit for us is pleasure. We gain pleasure from learning about the pain of others.

It matters not whether the pain was caused or felt by a stranger. In reality we seem to get more of a thrill when it is someone we know who has suffered. I am not talking about a family member. Usually when a loved one is hurting we respond in a different manner. I am referring to those with whom we have a passing acquaintance. For those we react the same while adding the trite statement, "It sure is a small world."

What do I suggest as an alternative? How can we fight against our own nature? For many it appears to be impossible. Most are quite happy to be who they are while there are plenty of others willing to feed their need for bad news. It is like we are addicts and the media conglomerates are the dealers. We love our drug. It seems to cost so little. A few bucks a month for cable and a high-definition television are all that is required. We do pay a price though. We pay a heavy price indeed with our very souls.

Our Only Possession

I am surrounded by books. There are so many I keep them in two separate rooms. It might be the writer in me or the collector that makes me fill my shelves. Books are not the only items I have. Like most anyone I own a variety of goods which have accumulated over the years. It occurs to me though that human beings have only one true thing we can call our own. All that we have and all that we are is the mind.

Every aspect of who we are is locked up in the brain. What we think, feel and reason is determined in that body part we can never display visually. Our memories are shaped, recorded and replayed in our head. If we forget things are they truly lost or are we just unable to retrieve them? This is just one of the many mysteries of the mind.

All that we are and all that we may be is determined mentally before anything else. Our inner selves exist deep within. We can be manipulated physically but it takes much more to influence a person's mind. This is why it is so difficult to get in shape for example. Effort is required to build muscles but it first takes motivation to start. Our inner dialogue is hard enough for us to manage let alone another.

The point I am trying to make is that physical items come and go. They can be bought, sold and destroyed. What is truly lasting is that which resides inwardly. Our personalities, memories and all that we are is that which we store in the brain. We create all meaning in our lives. Whatever possessions matter only do so because we have assigned some level of importance to them.

I think about the afterlife quite a bit. I know that I cannot take my books with me. I look around and I try to understand just what matters. This is the reason for this post. What we see is fleeting. All that I have is all that I am. My intellect, my sense of humor, all that is Dan can never be taken away. I pray that all that makes me who I am will somehow live on beyond when my body ceases to function.

Silent Majority

People scare me. Not every person just the unreasonable ones. The recent health care debate has really brought down the nuts from the crazy tree. Opponents have posted the home addresses of democratic politicians on the web. Sarah Palin has a map on her site with target symbols over certain states. Whatever happened to fighting fair? Is a person's home no longer sacred? What really bothers me is the way the media portrays these people as representative of the majority voice. I truly hope that they are not.

It is a given that many on two legs act more like their brethren on four. Television and radio personalities would have no audience were it not for their flock. Rhetoric, euphemisms and sound bytes are used to their advantage. People are rallied under the banner of nonsensical one-liners written on signs and banners. Getting these people to think for themselves is near impossible. Knee-jerk reactions are their stock in trade. Regardless of whichever talking head these people follow their extreme points of view get displayed on the nightly news.

There must be others like myself who realize that multiple valid viewpoints exist. Many of our nation's problems simply cannot be solved with one simple answer nor can every citizen be placated. Compromise is the key. Intelligent people understand that others exist and that their feelings and needs are valid. Too often I hear complaints that come down to one ridiculous idea: If I do not like a thing then it should not exist no matter what anyone else thinks, wants or feels.

Think I am being extreme? Look at any effort by a minority group to change the status quo. I have yet to see one of these groups willing to negotiate. They proclaim their truth and their way as the solution to the evil that only they perceive. Inevitably our political representatives will kowtow to their wishes. Why might this be? It is like the old saying about the squeaky wheel. I liken it more to a room full of babies. It is the one that constantly cries that gets the most attention. I guess I should be thankful therefore that actual babies do not get to vote.

A true majority exists. The reason that these special interest groups get so much attention for their whining is that we, the majority, are too busy with real problems rather than the sleights suffered by our narrow-minded neighbors. The silent majority is comprised of real people with real lives that take precedence over that which appears too far away and not terribly relevant. Certainly we vote when asked and get involved when the issues are tantamount. What we do not is raise our voices when the minority viewpoint does not match our own.

This has always been the biggest complaint. A small but vocal minority rallies for change and when they have succeeded the majority finally notice. We say, "Gee, where did our rights go?" It has been said that those who will not remain vigilant deserve what they get. And to some extent this is true. If we as a nation do not stand up for what we believe in we deserve what we get. I for one am damn tired of what I am getting thanks to the few as opposed to the many. I wish I knew what it will take to awaken the sleeping giant that is the silent majority. I only pray that we awaken before it is too late.

Random Thoughts

Writing can be a chore. Finding new and interesting subjects is probably easier for professional wordsmiths. My own abilities feel hampered by what is euphemistically called "fibro fog." I feel my mind is not always working at full capacity. My posts may become more sporadic as I try to give myself a break. In the meantime here are a few musings for my readers to chew on.

There is a book review in a magazine I subscribe to that talks about cheating in baseball. Playing any sport where the stakes are so high, as in monetary gain, and cheating becomes commonplace. The author argues that it is an integral part of the game. Just how many must skirt the rules before it no longer matters? It matters not whether it is one or a million. You can dress it up any way you like but any argument on the pro side just comes off as a halfhearted rationalization. We define cheating as wrong so it hardly matters how many do it. A culture may exist that espouses freely murdering its members. No matter that all accept this reality it is still murder no matter how you look at it.

There has been quite a debate as we round the corner of national health care. One side cares for people and little for corporate profits. The other ignores the sick and dying and works only to please their moneyed monolithic masters. (Try saying that three times fast!) It is not true but what other impression would one get while watching the news? I just cannot stand the pejoratives. Every one is either FAR left or RADICAL right. What happened to just left, right, or heaven forbid, centrist thinkers? All I see are "catchy" one-liners written on signs being waved at news cameras. I fear that true perspective is truly dead.

Judges are there to interpret laws or so we are taught. Assuming this is so how do we define what a law is? In every form and in every way people break the rules. Most assume they will get away with it and usually do. Lawyers either twist the law to punish or obfuscate it to relieve. Our laws have been recorded for all to see yet for what purpose? They seem like mere suggestions of what may be true depending upon who, what, when, where, which and how. Our laws are like various hobby price guides. Most prices are just starting points for dealer negotiations. Not every dealer charges the same price, and like lawyers, there are plenty of different dealers to choose from.

As cynical as I may seem there is some validity to what I write. Truth is relative. It is for this reason that there never seems to be one standard for human behavior no matter what the interpersonal dynamic might be. Sports, politics or law. Take your pick or choose any field of human endeavor and what is true one moment for one person cannot be counted to be so for another no matter how similar the circumstances. Chaos theory aside we as humans, as unpredictable and as fickle as we are, create the ever-changing miasma that is existence.

Unsung Heroes

I take a few things for granted. Each night my wife will be next to me while I sleep. Reaching another birthday means a few more gray hairs. Every week someone tries to sell me new gutters right from my front porch. These things occur regularly in my life. It is common for me to take people for granted as well. Certain individuals in the service industry meet our needs yet most never give them a second thought.

Eventually every car gets dirty. Many car wash establishments require the driver to get out and hand over the reigns to an employee. As the car goes through the cleaning process it is vacuumed, washed and dried. There are machines that do half the work but people handle the detailed areas manually. Payment is handed over at the end but tipping is optional. It is assumed that the workers will always do a decent job but they deserve to know that their work is appreciated.

Waitstaff are in a similar situation. No matter whether a tip is left by the patron, or how large it is, the government gets a flat percentage in taxes. Good service is by no means guaranteed. If the food is not up to one's standards or arrives late the server gets blamed. The kitchen staff have control over how and when the food is prepared. Waiters do their best to please the diner, the kitchen and management all at the same time. They are human beings after all.

Mailing letters seems passe' in our world of rapid email. Bills and catalogs still arrive each week in our mailboxes. Letter carriers are rarely seen but their delivery six days a week is expected nonetheless. It is a thankless job. Rainy days are no fun for anyone. No matter what the weatherman predicts every mail carrier must make their appointed rounds. When a friend or family member says they sent us something we expect it to arrive. We know just whom we should thank.

As painful as it is to think about emergencies do occur. Our taxes pay for public services that help during these times. Just because someone dials 911 does not guarantee that all will be well. Some of the most difficult careers are that of policeman and fireman. Complaining abounds when we get a ticket but these same people protect us as well. A kind word goes a long way. Even better is voting yes for the next millage proposal to retain these vital services.

There must be others that deserve to be recognized. I am as guilty as the next person when it comes to assuming people in service industries will meet my needs. Paying people for what they provide is just a start. Saying thank you or being kind in some way is just as important as remuneration. A tip is nice. A handshake is better. Just using a person's first name in conversation makes them feel better about themselves. I hope that next time we will remember to look someone directly in their eyes while we wear a smile on our face.

All Fun And Games

I love a good game. Sports are for spectators unless you are the athletic type. Shooting a basketball or throwing a football with friends was something I used to be good at. Otherwise I prefer to watch others who are clearly more talented than the majority of the population. With most games intellectual acuity matters more than physical prowess. As we age we tend to forget how special playing a game can be.

My wife tells me how important it is to de-stress. She recommends exercises that involve the tightening and releasing of each muscle group. I believe that the best way to release stress is to give the mind a different subject to mull over. We do not spend our day working on our stressors but we tend to think about them - a lot! Games give us the opportunity to change gears and starts endorphins flowing.

Many types of games allow people to compete on a level playing-field. It may be outdoors with a team or a board game with a few or even a video game with just one or two. As nice as it is to win these experiences allow us to use our brains in positive ways. Only basic physical dexterity is required and simple luck factors more than anything else. It is all about having fun and this is a word that adults have let slip from their vocabulary.

Sometimes the smallest things bring us joy and happiness. Games of all kinds challenge us in good ways. Sex, drugs and cable television do not completely satisfy. When was the last time you can honestly say you had fun? Without it a balanced life is not within reach. There will always be challenges to our time and mental resources. What better way is there to give our mind the respite it so desperately needs? Even school children look forward to recess each weekday. I hope that adults will begin to realize the benefit it can bring to the quality of their own lives.

Relative Cleanliness

I like to keep my home clean. Minimizing clutter is a priority. If I have an item that serves no purpose I either donate it or dispose of it. Dusting is a real pain so that only gets done once in a while. Areas like the kitchen and bathroom get sanitized regularly. When one is away from home cleanliness becomes the responsibility of someone else. Hotel rooms look clean, but below the surface, there lingers all manner of disgust.

My advice comes from what I have experienced. Christine and I have stayed in hotels hundreds of times. What we have witnessed should serve as a warning to others. Housekeeping staff is notoriously overburdened. They have many rooms to clean and little time in which to accomplish their task. Their task is not what you might expect. A room is not cleaned so much as it is made to appear so. Due to this there are things every person should do when they first walk through the door.

The bed is the first place to look. Bed bugs are quite hard to get rid of and are common to find even in expensive hotels. It is best to lift the sheet and mattress cover to get a closer look. Little black dots that jump and move is the best way to tell if your mattress is infested. The next area to examine is the bathroom. There should not be signs of the previous occupant. Floor, sink and shower areas should be stain and hair free.

When the maid comes to clean they will use chemicals of course. The concern is that what they use may not sanitize surfaces which people come into contact. Windex makes glass shine but it hardly makes anything sanitary. Bringing a can of Lysol spray is a good defense against unwanted bugs. I recommend spraying the television's remote control, all doorhandles and any bathroom surfaces. A little bit of prevention helps to keep a person healthy.

Some rooms have glasses for drinking water or for whatever beverage one might have. I learned my lesson the hard way. I assumed these glasses were sanitary until one fateful hotel excursion. I happened to catch the maid cleaning my glasses in the bathroom sink. Why did I think they would use a big dishwasher somewhere in the hotel? In this case she was cleaning them using hand soap and the same rag she used to wipe down surfaces. When I inquired as to her "cleaning method" she explained that this was how she and the rest of the staff washed glasses.

These few tips are meant to inform and educate. I certainly wish someone had told me about this years ago. There are probably more ways to keep yourself safe in a hotel room but unfortunately it is easier to stop a burglar than to stop a bug. There are similar stories of maid service in people's homes. House cleaners are often only concerned with surface appearances. Everyone deserves to get away once in a while. Please remember that wherever you lay your head there have been countless other heads there as well.

New Blog Started

I now have a new blog at WordPress. My intention for this blog is to write more comprehensive articles, on a weekly basis, in a more objective fashion than posts found here. The new blog is also called Dan Kravitz so please take a look and feel free to contact me with any comments. I will continue here, as I have been, posting two or more times per week.

Our Choices

A whole is made up of various parts. So it is with our lives. Just as we wear many hats, each representing a facet of our personality, our life is also divided. These parts do not exist on an even playing field. Some bring us joy, others strife, while others still are works in progress. I humbly submit a three-part method of clarifying and categorizing one's life. This outline may not work for everyone but I hope that it might act as a starting point for self-reflection.

Our behaviors do not always bring desired results. We want things to get better but it is not always clear how to do so. Banging your head into the wall only causes pain. Only a fool performs the same acts and believes that different results will occur. Acceptance must be the first part of the method. We must face the problem and understand that whatever we have done thus far must be revised. Only once we acknowledge what we dislike can change begin.

Not everything new must be made from whole cloth. In other words, when we break down a part of our lives, we find aspects that can be integrated into our new plan. This brings us to part two which I call compromise. Just like when dealing with others it is better to pick our battles. When it comes to ourselves small changes are often enough. Negotiation is key when changing maladaptive behaviors. Keep what works and combine it with new ideas that may lead to positive change and a positive outlook.

There will always be those things that we can do little about. Some behaviors, like other people, cannot be changed. It takes thought, time and patience to determine what is at fault and how to create a resolution. As painful as it may be we must accept the immovable objects of our lives. Resignation is the third part that saves us from further pain. As I mentioned the sooner we stop beating ourselves up the better. The truth is that some problems have no workable solution.

What I have written may be construed as a philosophical version of the popular serenity prayer. What the prayer mentions in its few lines seems trite when a person is suffering and longs for things to get better. Just as blueprints are used in construction a plan must be used as we daily build, change and remove parts of our inner selves. The greatest barrier to change is perspective. This is why it is so important to look at ourselves honestly and remain flexible. Some things can be made better while others remain as challenges we daily must overcome. Through this process we build character as we traverse the long highway of life.

Home Sweet Home

A notary public just left. My wife and I refinanced our home and the title company was nice enough to send the paperwork here. We signed and initialed and the whole process took less than thirty minutes. We had a thirty-year fixed mortgage before but now our interest rate is two full percentage points lower. Having a house is a great responsibility yet I would not trade it for anything. There is much debate over whether one should rent an apartment or get in debt and buy a house. Not all reasons for buying a home can be quantified.

Christine and I have lived in our home for over three years and plan on staying for many more. The apartment we shared for many years was more than adequate but there is no comparison to our current living situation. Every part of this dwelling is ours. When we walk into our backyard we are the masters of all we survey. Along with ownership is the option to change anything we like. There are costs involved naturally but having our home look and feel however we desire is priceless. The more we change the more connected we feel.

It is so quiet! Rarely is traffic an issue even with a corner lot. The only noises are ones that we expect to hear. The floor creaks and the washer is far from silent but these are the only sounds we deal with. There is no door loudly opening and closing, at all hours of the day and night, by people entering a common area. Weird smells are kept to a minimum. The only threat in the kitchen is from my cooking. Apartment dwellers often complain about loud televisions or stereos. Rude people do not come though my door. I can enjoy my music or workbench with nary a complaint.

These are some of the things that get forgotten when people formulate the equation of home buying versus renting. There are numerous intangible factors which a dollar amount cannot be assigned. Having friends over when you like, more space to live and entertain and enjoying a more peaceful and sedate existence are just a few of the benefits of being the king of your castle. There are still some examples of the tastes of the previous owner but what is not broken gets to stay. Plenty of items were changed or replaced the first few years we occupied this house. What is important is that one feels secure in one's environment.

I wrote this post not just because I am happy about saving big bucks through refinancing. It is also that I believe most people take what they have for granted. After almost four years I still get excited when I think of the largest purchase of my life. I will be in debt for many years to come but I will also own something valuable for even longer. The inherent worth of this property is measured in dollars. The other benefits cannot be labeled with a price tag and are too numerous to mention. Our dream finally came true and I am thankful each and every day for what we share together.

Environmentalism For Sale

A recent article in Mother Jones magazine got me thinking. I read about a plan to save trees and forests. Much of our land is already treated as a commodity. In this case though the value would be in saving the trees and land rather than destroying it. The hope is that companies which clear cut to produce their products will fund the saving of forested areas. The businesses would pay money for the rights to print an eco-friendly logo on their product labels. This sounds more like a public relations scheme than a legitimate way to help the Earth.

The first point made in the article acknowledges the formation of a consortium of companies that would gather and formulate the rules. Their first act would be to agree to stop their deleterious ways and make amends, in the form of money, to make up for past sins. A particular dollar amount would then be paid per each acre destroyed before the groups' formation. I doubt any company will be forthright about the exact number they would then be on the hook for.

What I find so silly is the whole "eco-friendly" label concept. Assuming the best-case scenario there would be some areas of our planet saved for future generations. Others would still be co-opted as part of the manufacturing process. The label would signify that some portion of our natural resources have been rescued suggesting that the manufacturer has done its part for our planet. What is ridiculous is that the consumer will never know what land was saved and what was used in the creation of the product they hold in their hands.

The funds paid out for the right to use the eco-label would, in some part, be used to maintain valuable acreage. Developing nations earn as much, if not more, for land rights that would have been sold. Nations must be reimbursed for lost revenue and for the costs of maintenance and upkeep. Assuming that each governing body gets an equal share of corporate funds there is still a flaw in this logic. As land continues to be used in the manufacturing process fewer untouched areas will remain standing. Over time fewer parcels will receive an ever-growing share of money. These areas will end up richer than originally intended and corporations will see less of a reason to keep shelling out for that which is rapidly disappearing.

I have offered a simplistic summary of the program written about in Mother Jones. The details may help to illuminate the process and procedures but my observations were never discussed in the article. There seem to be some obvious questions, some of which I have brought up, that should be asked nevertheless. When companies that base their business model upon the destruction of land offer to help that same land you have to ask why. Paying for the right to label their products differently seems like a smokescreen to me. This is just another example of how corporate funds can make up for any evil they commit.

Environmental Capitalism

I recycle what my city allows. They pick up papers, cans and some forms of plastic. The green movement and Al Gore both influenced this decision. If I am honest with myself I do it because it feels good. What I do is my limited response to the global warming movement. The media reports that scientists are in agreement for the most part over what damage we are causing and the solutions we must enact. Only a few problems exist in which real cause and effect can be observed. These are what our dollars and effort should be focused on.

Two areas, carbon release and temperature change, are hallmarks of the cult of personality made popular by Mister Gore. What may surprise you is that a very small percentage of all carbon released into the atmosphere is due to man. Almost all carbon is due to decaying growth, volcanoes and forest fires. I am also skeptical that industry causes increased temperatures. Readings have only been recorded for a few hundred years yet the Earth is billions of years old. Can we really say that any changes are not part of natural cycles?

Pollution and smog are problems that are observable. Ask any resident of Los Angeles and they will agree. We need to breathe clean air. Asthmatics are not alone in this. Reducing emissions from cars and factories should be a priority if for no other reason than to keep our air from making us sick. Money spent towards this endeavor is fully justified. If it takes greater legislation than so be it. Money can be made by companies willing to tackle this project through innovation and government funding. It is certainly cheaper in the long run to keep citizens healthy.

Coal mining is a necessary evil. What would we do without electricity? Oil wells must be dug as petroleum is integral in creating many goods we use daily. The damage that is done is self-evident. Pristine mountainous ranges are flattened and stripped bare. Alaskan wilderness is destroyed and native species displaced. People often complain that the US is beholden to middle eastern countries for oil. The only way to solve these problems is with alternate fuel sources. Research is the key but people must willing to tolerate these new options. Windmills, for example, have to be placed in someone's backyard.

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to the environment and our affect on it. We can measure some of what we observe but the long term implications are hard to quantify. This is why I feel it is prudent to work on what problems we have now rather than what may or may not occur down the road. One might argue that by solving what we can today will ensure a better tomorrow. There is a lot of debate from various sides as to what is wrong, what to do and whom to blame. Some might prefer to argue but I prefer our energy be directed towards productive ends.

The Giving Tree

We need wood for many things. Trees are felled to build homes and create paper products of all kinds. Companies make money and loggers are put to work. There are a finite number of trees to meet the needs of the world's population. Sustainable logging may be a pipe dream that many of us pretend is real. Anyone who has bought furniture from IKEA or a Christmas tree from a seasonal vendor probably thinks little about where that wood originated. Any way you add it up the preservation or destruction of forests means someone loses big time.

Plenty of what is cut down, be it old growth or rain forests, is done illegally. Developing countries turn a blind eye toward the practice as developed nations accept the import of wood with nary a whisper in protest. Rain forests which help to regulate the environment are lost as are any potential medicines their plants offer. Trees which held onto precious soil, once removed, allow for greater soil erosion which affects nearby water quality. Carbon is released into the air which increases the threat to the ozone layer.

Keeping these sources of wood pristine comes with its own unique price tag. Countries that lose money due to a decrease in commerce must get it from somewhere. Carbon offsets are sold to some while the World Bank must then make up the revenue shortfall. Native peoples who would have been able to farm the land must then look elsewhere for a place to live and a way to earn a living. Strange bedfellows are created when environmental groups collaborate with the very same companies that would have benefited from the logging had it occurred.

I cannot see any middle ground. We both lose and gain when trees are cut and when forests are cleared or saved. The need for all that our tall and leafy friends bestow upon us is undeniable. My desk, my printer and my bathroom all remind me of what gifts mother nature brings. My best hope is that a paper substitute is developed that satisfies us as homes, at least, can now be created with newer and stronger materials. Revenue will be lost no doubt as the practice of logging ends. Maybe someone smarter than me will find a solution to this conundrum?

Mea Culpa

I must confess the error of my ways. In some of my posts lately I have offered advice in a more forceful manner than I intended. Rather than speaking with some humility I did so with an air of conceit. Christine has pointed out to me that people take advice better when it is offered in a softer fashion. I have such passion for what I write yet I forget that my readers may have different sensibilities. You cannot force an idea down someone's throat. I have attempted this in some of my posts and for this I sincerely apologize. I will be more cognizant of this in future posts and hope that my strong style of prose has not alienated you completely.

National Health Care

The debate rages. Democrats want universal health care and Republicans do not. Both sides have valid points. One group, including our president, wants us all to be insured. They believe that insurance corporations are getting rich off of those who can least afford it. Another group believes that citizens can take care of themselves. They feel our government is turning into a nanny state. I humbly offer my version of a middle ground.

Democrats acknowledge that many of us are either uninsured or under-insured. Small business owners cannot afford the added cost of offering insurance to their workers. Universal health care would offer affordable health insurance to all while keeping costs in check. They argue that Medicare, a government run program, has been working well for decades and therefore augurs well for the success of a national program. It is the government's job to keep us well.

Republicans decry any further spending as our national debt keeps growing. They believe that it is up to the individual to meet their own needs and that the free market system works. They suggest that Medicare has been beset by rising costs and myriad instances of fraud. It is not the government's job to meet each and every need of its citizens. There will always be those who have more than others and this is no way suggests failure within our present system.

We as a nation are in greater debt than ever before. I cannot see the benefit of scrapping what works now for a new plan which no one in congress can agree on. Those who have insurance are doing better than they know. I would prefer that our government spends money to fill in the gaps. Offering a public option only to those with little or no insurance would be the best option of all. It would be cheaper and more efficient to help those whom have nowhere else to turn.

Even as Washington discusses and debates the issue we sit by the sidelines and wait. What little specific information offered to the public has been confusing and contradictory. Each side tries to gain the upper hand while simultaneously changing the story they tell us. I cannot say with any certainty whether universal health care is what we need. I only know that people suffer whom have no access to quality care while others file bankruptcy due to rising medical bills. I pray that a solution is found before the next administration.

Internet Fantasies

Few of us are rich. Do not gamble with what little you have. In some cases we have no choice. We invest our money now with our eyes on the future. Stock markets and economies are volatile. The real gambling takes place in more than casinos. When greed comes into play we seem to lose our ability to think straight. There are countless ways that one might defraud us in person. My concern is the Internet. Greed has become the key in many popular web-based scams.

You just won the lottery! Do you remember actually entering it by the way? I thought not. To start with no company runs their own lottery. Microsoft and others have enough funds without having to resort to selling lottery tickets. Foreign lotteries are illegal under federal law for your information. Getting paid to send emails to your friends will not get you any freebies either. These are all scams and should be sent straight to your spam folder.

Many people are looking for a job. The opportunities on the web are nonexistent. Offers abound for stuffing envelopes, secret shoppers and other jobs that seem too damn easy. These jobs do not exist in cyberspace or in real life. These come-ons are proffered by those seeking to steal your identity. They ask for more personal information than any real employer ever would. Seriously, how many jobs require you to pay for the privilege of applying?

Your account has been closed. Just click the link provided, fill in some data and all will be well. Sure these emails look real and the sites seem legitimate. In reality your account, be it eBay, your bank or any other, is just fine. If you let fear take over the scam artists win every time. Log in to your account and see for yourself that there is no problem. No legitimate company does business in this way. Call your bank if you need assurance.

Fake lotteries are not the only method of getting your money. Selling products or accepting packages from strangers can also get you into hot water. The last thing you want is to be arrested for accepting stolen goods. Whether you get it as part of a "lottery" or as "extra payment" that check in your hand is a fake. Though it looks real, if you cash it, you will owe your bank a bundle. Only criminals send money and ask for some portion to be wired overseas.

I have laid out the basic facts of some of the more common scams. Put aside greed and fear. Use the common sense God gave you and do not be a victim. If it seems too good to be true it is. It always is! These SOBs from around the globe count on our fear and greed to hook us. Some are better than others when creating their particular scam. There are many variations on only a few themes. Do due diligence the first time and you will have no regrets. Magical thinking never makes what was never real to begin with suddenly appear.

Medical Advice

Our health directly affects our life. Physical ailments lessen quality while physical wellness increases it. Mental health is just as important. What we think correlates with how we feel. Some health issues we cannot ignore no matter how hard we try. Others may be hidden and take months or years to appear. In either case there is one important thing to remember. See a doctor for what you have and to prevent what you have not.

We are not exactly proactive people. Even if we see the problem approaching we often ignore it until it is too late. This can cause the thing we fear most to occur. High blood pressure, diabetes and other ailments are nothing new. Taking care of ourselves properly occurs sporadically. The last thing we want is a doctor to tell us what we do not wish to hear. Making changes to our lifestyle even when we are slowly killing ourselves is not on our agenda.

Think about it rationally. Would you not rather have a fighting chance to make yourself better? This is precisely why we must get help when we know we are sick. Symptoms become undeniable and our suffering grows. A few small changes or a daily medication is often all it takes to turn the tide. If we know in our heart of hearts what the doctor will say, is it not better to deal with it sooner rather than later? If we wait too long it may be too late. With this in mind one cannot seek help soon enough.

When we feel well is the best time to seek medical attention. Getting a physical exam twice a year is prudent. I would rather have a doctor work harder to find something wrong when I feel well. Let them concentrate on the basics rather than some issue I have been avoiding. Some health concerns will not be seen unless a competent medical professional does the looking. It may seem inconvenient and a damn sight uncomfortable but in the end (no pun intended) there is security in knowing. When the doctor tells you it is time for an annual test then take it. Knowledge is power.

My father-in-law did what was best. He saw a strange spot in his mouth and soon got himself examined. It was determined, after a biopsy, that he had throat cancer. He went through chemo and radiation for months. Cat and pet scans with contrast are no fun whatsoever. He endured discomfort, pain and distress on a scale I can only imagine. In the end he was declared cancer free. His family is relieved and prays that the cancer never returns. It was a painful process but he endured. He got checked out quite early and saved himself from a much worse fate.

Mental health is no less important than physical. We lead worried and harried lives. Stress affects us in more ways than I can count. Our psyches can only take so much battering. A myriad of disorders relate to the condition of our brains. All action begins with thought. Thoughts and feelings that hurt or are negative create related behaviors. Recognizing this within ourselves is difficult. Making connections and seeing patterns of behavior requires objectivity. We are rarely able to be objective when it comes to who we are inside.

Social workers and counselors exist to use as our support system. Our families are certainly part of what keeps us afloat. Our kin cannot be depended upon though as objective appraisers of our inner selves; hence the need for an outsider. The mind is the most complex organ we have. Doctors can only perform surgery on the physical. The non-corporeal is another matter entirely. It is invaluable to have someone to talk to, to get advice from or just to get things off our chest. These advisers offer a safe place free from criticism and judgment.

Finding a good match is not always easy. Christine and I have separately, and as a couple, sought help from professionals many times over the years. Some that you meet may not fully understand us or jump to conclusions. Others might prefer that we fit neatly into their predefined boxes. It takes work and patience to discover that person who can truly add value to our lives. It takes an open mind and open heart as well as multiple sessions to work out our problems. A desire to listen and communicate is the key to getting our lives back on track.

Do not let your concerns become more than you can handle. Your body and mind is more fragile than you know. Medical professionals of all kinds are there to make us well and keep us that way. Testing exists not to torture us but to save us from what may be excruciating later in life. We do not have to be alone. Get help and advice to prevent what you can and seek others to help manage what you have got. Know that your friends, family and higher power want only what is in our best interests. Make sure that you do right by them all and yourself. Do not wait for tomorrow when today can make all the difference for the rest of your life.

Feeling Overwhelmed

My posts will sometimes reflect my state of mind. It is easier to find subjects when I take examples from my life. This is no exception. I feel like my responsibilities have caused a mental cave-in. I have more to do than time allows which most can relate to. When writing most teachers have told me to refrain from using "I" sentences. It is difficult when I am the subject of what I write. Hopefully together we can discover a solution while we unravel this complex problem.

It is normal to feel frustration. The last thing I want is to make my wife a scapegoat. There are times that I feel alone in my duties. Christine tries to help but she is not always the best at asking the right questions. The only reason I am any good at it is because I take little at face value. For this reason I handle the business aspect of our relationship. I usually have to clean up whatever mess our collective mistakes create.

One might argue that it is the husband's job to take care of the house. Maybe so but I try to educate Christine in case I am not around. Granted I have more time to make calls and file away business papers than she does. Christine has a more than full-time job and has her own stressors to manage. Making time for what you might call a "balanced life" is nearly impossible. My various health issues do not allow for much quality time each day. Some days I am able to accomplish more than others.

Lists are a great way to keep track of responsibilities and prioritize them. They can also be a double-edged sword as they remind us of all that we have not done. Christine also has that effect. She can be nurturing one moment and defensive the next. I have learned a hard lesson from this. People know when they have screwed up. Reminding them gets you nowhere and makes it take even longer to move forward. It is best to create an atmosphere where people feel safe to nurture and safe to admit their mistakes.

This still leaves me in the position I was in before. What does a high-achiever do when they can no longer achieve? Christine likened my lengthy list to a hoarder. We both cannot determine what items, be they physical or written, to simply let go of. Foresight can only take me so far. I think that it may be a matter of deciding what I must let go of. It is about payoff and price. Is the payoff greater than the price I pay, both mentally and physically, to get the job done? It must also be great enough to make it all worthwhile.

People with Fibromyalgia are supposed to take it easy and reduce their stress. On that note it is time to eliminate items with price tags I cannot afford. Sometimes parts of the house will be messy. Some wishes must be set free. A few tasks will die a quick death. My lists will be shortened and my personal time will become better focused. Someday I may learn to accept my new lifestyle. For today I need to learn to accept the new me; no matter how damaged I am. The sooner I do the sooner Christine and I will enjoy peace of mind and peace at home.

One Year Later

Today is the one year anniversary of this blog. I have written about many different subjects and offered my perspective on a variety of issues. Some of my posts might be considered esoteric but I have tried to make whatever I write relevant to the reader. With each post you must remember that your own feelings and opinions may differ. What matters is that you, the reader, get something back for the time you spend. I sincerely hope that my writing has improved over time and that my posts get better overall. I will soon be starting my next blog on a different site which will include longer and more in-depth articles. Thank you for reading and may you continue to gain as we begin year two of this blog.

Love Hate Relationships

I am normally a liberal person. There are a few points though in contrast that I believe to be true. Contradictions might be a better way to put it. Three common targets of hatred quickly come to mind. What is said about them often contradicts what people do about them. I refer to gays, the military and the United States of America. What some say in public belie a truth too ugly to bear.

Ask many Christians and they will repeat the party line concerning homosexuals. Hate the sin and love the sinner. To begin with hate is not a healthy emotion. Those who repeat this mantra know full well that gays are treated like lepers. Repeating this saying suggests that certain sin is worse than another. It then becomes a short path to the next bit of logic for these lovers of humanity. If the sin is worse so must be the sinners. This is when the seed of hatred bears its bitter fruit.

Few enjoy war. Our young men and women, for their own reasons, volunteer their lives in service to protect you and yours. Anti-war protesters talk a good game. It is not the soldiers they rail against but the fighting and death. Yet when our sons and daughters return from battle they are soon forgotten. Where are the marches and rallies for the ones who survived? Our military are not loved when they fight and are reviled as reminders of our collective shame.

There are countless liberals who criticize this country. Their defense is simplistic. They love the United States but hate her policies. They declare that they only seek to change that which is unjust. There is a major flaw in this theory. Too many never get involved or get their hands dirty. They behave as if loudly complaining is an original idea. Bold action is taken by those who truly care while the whiners sit back and wonder why stagnation occurs.

People talk about differences but talk is all you get. One cannot split a hair and say one part is good and the other bad. We love the one but despise the other. This is not how our minds work. Despite what some may insist they do not split that hair whatsoever. It is all too common to hate gays, soldiers and our country as a whole. If we are to accept any subculture it cannot be with strings attached. I would rather one spew venom honestly than smile at the camera while holding a knife behind their back.

Cut Some Slack

There is not enough time in a day to do everything. I make a daily list but inevitably the unexpected occurs. My hopes for efficiency are soon dashed. I attempt recovery with the cunning use of multitasking. Who am I kidding? I can barely concentrate on one thing let alone many. As days go by I realize that certain jobs fall by the wayside. I have found that it is best for my stress level to just let them go.

I have had a pile of newspapers to go through for a few months now. The problem with news is that it gets old real fast! Some of the more interesting items were read and recycled. The rest just became a reminder of my ineptitude. I truly intended to read them all... someday. Other paperwork requires my attention as well. I came up with a novel solution.

A Barnes & Noble bag is great for loading with items for the recycle bin. I took the pile of papers and shoved them in. How much news will I miss? What I lost is much less than what I gained. My magazine rack is about empty. I do not have that visual reminder any longer that caused me mental anguish. Getting to more important tasks is easier since I eliminated this source of shame.

There is a hand-woven basket on a shelf that held small items I saved. It consisted of old mail, old articles and such that I felt I should look over. The whole point in saving something is based on an assumption. I assumed that down the road this information would somehow be of use. One day I would sit down for hours and sift through it is what I told myself.

Reality never quite matches our precognitions. Those items just sat there getting dusty. I learned that there is a difference in should and need. Much of what was in the basket was based upon should. These things should help me. Like any help in life one may receive it is only effective when one wants to be helped. With this in mind I threw away most of the basket's contents. I kept the few papers I truly wanted to read.

My day is filled with chores, errands and daily priorities from my list. I still hope to get to things that would bring personal fulfillment. Something has got to give. I cannot do all that I need or want. What I have done is eased up and given myself some slack. How I perceive things, whether positively or negatively, is the greatest determiner of stress.

Prioritizing tasks makes it clear how to budget your time. Praise for accomplishments feels better than admonitions for failures. If some things get old it is perfectly acceptable to let them go as long as your future self is not hurt. Needs and wants must be separated in order to gain perspective. Doing so will make it clear how to spend precious time. Look more at all that you do and see just what a productive person you really are.

Perchance To Dream

I remember my dreams. I remember almost all of them. There are some from when I was a child that I still recall in great detail. Nighttime is when our subconscious purges itself of whatever unresolved thoughts we have stored up. Some dreams are happy while others may be sad or scary. A few times we dream as a way of finishing a thought. It is said that sleeping well means not recalling your mind's imagery. I live in a world where just the opposite is true.

Deep sleep seems to elude me. Even when I am exhausted my dreams are affected. In some I am too tired even to move and am forced to simply witness the dream scape that surrounds me. Most of the time I am an active participant of whatever my mind creates. I enjoy taking part in conflict even if I cannot resolve the issue. It is fun to say and do things within my dreams that I would never attempt otherwise.

Waking up is just as enjoyable. No matter whether the dream was positive or not it feels good to awaken and reflect. When I dream of a negative scenario there is retribution as I deny my imagined attacker their prize. Not all of my dreams are as they were when I was young. I fly much less, falls are far fewer and walking about while naked is a rare occurrence.

My only complaint is that I remember my dreams in so much detail. Each morning, on command, I can relate and repeat the specifics of each dream from the night before. It is because of this that I can never tell just how seriously to take what seems so real. Is every subject from the prior evening worthy of legitimate examination? Can insight be gained or is a cigar sometimes just a cigar?

I realize that this post is outside of my norm. There is nothing wrong with being a bit self-serving. My wish is that those who read this might learn a bit more about who I am. Writing can sometimes offer catharsis. Either way I am glad to submit some small, albeit strange, part of myself to the reader. There must be others who have active nocturnal lives. Mine just happens to begin after my head hits the pillow.

News Or Entertainment

Newspapers are dead. Look at many large cities and you will see a dead or dying readership. There is simply no money being made. Advertising dollars have dwindled to a trickle as most ads now appear online. Those of us who were used to getting our news in print have a hard time making the transition. Thankfully, or not, there is still television. When we tune in for news and opinion are we being educated or just entertained?

News programs on the major networks offer early morning, afternoon and multiple evening editions. During any of these periods we are treated to local news, sports, cooking and financial advice. A little national and world news is thrown in at night. What good is the news that we receive? The stories almost always are negative. The networks liken our mentality to that of those who gawk at accidents. It is insulting to our collective intelligence.

Plenty of shows abound that let us in on the latest entertainment gossip. Personally I cannot get enough of Brangelina! News about new movies, plays or musicals would add value to our lives. The information that is proffered is puerile and salacious rather than intellectually stimulating. We are treated as if we are no more intelligent than children. Not every story must involve the tragic lives of those we lift upon our shoulders.

We have many choices when desiring informed opinions. Famous-named pundits offer their "unique" take on the days' news on many cable channels. I appreciate hearing opinions that differ from my own. Perspective on any issue can only be attained by listening to others. The unfortunate reality is that what the talking heads opine is their skewed view of reality. They spew forth inflammatory diatribes that only serve to maintain ratings and polarize viewers.

There are decent places to turn for hard news. We need the type of reporting that is both objective and useful. In that vain I offer a few of my favorite sources of information. They can be found on television, in print and on the 'net. They are the BBC, the Guardian, and The Economist. Watch, read and learn. I think that you will see quite a difference between the simplistic offerings on television and what great news sources give us daily.

Fortified Foods

Food is just not food any longer. When I was a boy cereal was fortified with "essential" vitamins and minerals. There was even a cereal called Vitamin King! Many foods are now created with more than just taste in mind. Breads, juices and cereals, to name a few, all contain what their manufacturers hope will entice us; additives that are supposedly good for us. Much of these advertised benefits are not what they appear.

More foods now offer things like whole grains, fiber and calcium than ever before. The myriad of items that proclaim these health benefits are based upon two premises. One is that companies will increase sales as they cater to health-conscious consumers. Two is that people are not receiving these benefits as a part of their daily diet. It is true in many cases that we must get what we can wherever we can find it.

The question becomes whether or not these foods are truly beneficial? My wife has tried orange juice that contains large amounts of calcium. According to her it tasted weird. Much of the whole grain bread I have eaten has also tasted different due to its texture. A daily calcium pill is more than enough for most of us. Even though whole grain bread is healthier it really does not taste very good.

Differences in taste and texture aside some companies have gone too far. The FTC has cracked down on corporations that imply that certain health benefits are gained via the consumption of their products. Some have said that your cholesterol will be lowered or certain physical ailments will be reduced. There is no basis to claim that everyday food products will cure anything whatsoever.

The issue that the FTC has concerns food products that purport to act as medicine. Certain benefits that are implied on the box, in reality, can only be gained via a tablet prescribed by your doctor. To suggest that a consumable offers any miraculous health benefits hearkens back to days of yore and snake-oil salesmen. Offering pills, food or liniments that falsely claimed to "cure what ails 'ya" is the reason the pure food and drug act was enacted in the first place.

Do not kid yourself. Eating less fat, sugar, salt and calories are still the best routes to better health. Food producers, no matter how well-intentioned, will never create food that replaces what we should otherwise be giving to our bodies. Even if their food does offer some benefits there will always be purer sources that we should ingest. Manufacturers grab our attention with pretty words and pretty pictures. Dare to pull aside the curtain of deception and you will discover that snake-oil is only water. Remember though that sometimes even water can be poisonous.

Shake Hands With The Devil

Evil exists inside us all. Humans are capable of great good and great harm. It is one thing to do that which hurts others. It is sometimes unavoidable. It is entirely another to go into that which you know will cause harm. There are specific professions that require one to compromise their goodness and integrity. Corruption, for some, begins on day one.

Politicians may start out desiring to "make a difference" and better their communities. No matter what position one may hold, be it city councilperson or state governor, one's constituency is great. You are beholden to more than those who put you in office. You must answer to all who vote. It then becomes impossible to please all people all of the time. Someone or something must lose out with every decision you make.

Corporations and those who run them cannot act alone. Shareholders and stakeholders must be considered as money is either spent or saved. This is how the love of money and its effects are most easily observed. A company's bottom line becomes more important than any one person or group. Deals must be struck which will inevitably hurt a particular demographic. Economic justice cannot be achieved when the almighty dollar is worshiped.

Law enforcement hurts at least as many as it helps. Police officers and lawyers equally pervert that which has been codified. Plenty of laws are on the books yet how and when they are enforced is subjective. The whole concept of justice is dependent upon whose eyes it is seen through. Those who make, interpret and enforce the rules do so knowing full well that they leave behind much collateral damage.

Religious leaders believe that they are doing God's work. This may be true yet to be a leader for God requires the acceptance of at least a few deadly sins. Show me anyone who wishes to lead and I will show you an ego larger than usual. To spread the "good word" is laudable and necessary in a society that so desperately seeks answers. Taking on the roll of leader, even for a day, requires that person to think more of themselves than they do of those being led.

My point should be clear to you. These are professions that cannot exist without evil being a part. Those who go into the above mentioned areas of service need to take a good look into the mirror. Too many realize too late that they made a deal with the devil. The only hope is for one to admit to themselves this truism from the start: In order for the majority to be helped there must always be a minority that is hurt. Resources are finite. Someone or some people always end up on the losing side of the equation.

Scouting

An old cliche is a Boy Scout helping a little old lady across the street. The Scouts do much more than that. I was a Cub Scout and a Boy Scout for many years. The group teaches young males values, nature appreciation and life skills. Much of what I base my life upon I learned while scouting. I appreciate all the knowledge and wisdom that was imparted to me by my leaders. It was not until years after I left that a sad lesson in inclusion was imparted to anyone who reads the news.

I hold on to some of the more important lessons I gleaned as a Scout. When camping one must leave the area in better shape than when one arrives. Any good deed is a reward unto itself. One should never accept money for helping another. I kept this in mind when I was employed at Sears. A customer in a wheelchair purchased a small radio that I brought to their vehicle. They then insisted on giving me cash as a tip. I humbly declined and walked away.

Much of what the Scouts teach is valuable and will help one along on their path to manhood. The friendship and camaraderie creates lasting memories. Apparently though, according to news stories, one may only be friends with those who share in the Scouts ideology. To put it simply: Gays are not allowed nor desired in joining the Scouts. If you are not straight, as a child member or an adult leader, you must stay away.

This issue went as far as being challenged in court. It was found that the Boy Scouts of America, as an organization, is considered private and can therefore exclude anyone for any reason they choose. I do not recall this being an issue when I was a member. Then again, not many people felt comfortable talking about their sexuality unless it reflected "straight" values. Outing oneself is never easy as it is. Doing so within an intolerant group is more so.

As usual fear wins out. People are afraid that gays will do something so untoward that they will be forced to run away in terror. This is certainly an exaggeration but you get the idea. Fear makes people think and act unreasonably. What is the worst that could happen? Some child talks about his boyfriend? Oh wait, I forgot, it is the adults we worry about. Homosexual adults might... oh, I dare not even think about it.

This is some of the oldest and worst kinds of prejudice. Gay men are accused of hitting on straight adults or being closeted pedophiles. People assign the worst traits and motives to those with whom they cannot understand and around whom they are uncomfortable. I am not trying to turn this post into a pro-gay diatribe. I just want to make it clear that there is no good reason to exclude any child or adult from the Scouts whom are gay.

There is no threat. If a Boy Scout acts in an inappropriate manner it is dealt with. If an adult does so they should know better and should then be let go. The Scouts themselves become the losers in their effort to homogenize their membership. By not offering the same opportunities to gays the Scouts go against their stated purpose and goals and increase the stratification of our society. This is not the group I remember joining. If given a chance to again be part of this group I would seriously think twice before joining.

The New Year

A new year has begun again! The holidays are over and a new decade has arrived. Resolutions will soon be made and just as quickly discarded. We tend to set ourselves up for unrealistic expectations. We hope for better but hope is no guarantee. It takes long-term vision and a bucket load of patience to realize our dreams. To try yet again to better oneself is laudable. If you do so you must remember that baby steps are the key.

It is said that losing weight permanently takes a long time. It took months or years to gain it and will take that much to remove it. Doctors say that the slower one reduces their weight the longer they will keep it off. It is no different with our goals. Taking time to plan and prepare makes it more likely that we will succeed. Thought and someplace to write are what we need to begin.

Anything worth doing or having takes time. Think about what changes you truly want to occur. Create a list of goals and then break them down into individuals steps. Each step must then be broken down into manageable chunks, or baby steps, that you can take one at a time. Realize that though your path may be long you will reach the end if you persevere. As with weight loss the slower you go the better and more long-lasting the outcome will be.

It has become almost trite to talk about New Year's resolutions. It may seem cute when a smoker says that, this year, they will finally quit. Or friends might laugh when a drinker announces their last bottle of beer while still sitting at the bar. As for yourself please do not fall into these traps. Know just what you can change and create the long-term plan that will make it all work out. Be good to yourself and hold your head up high with each baby step you take!

The Christmas Season

Many homes display lighted winter themes, even now, at the end of Christmas. Some scenes are beautiful, some simple and some gaudy as hell. They all help to represent one similar ideal. The celebration of Jesus' birth is marked by the opening of hearts and of pocketbooks. People seem more at ease, happier and even a bit more cheerful. Christmas is a time when moods are lighter and smiles come easier.

Most places one might travel were filled with the sounds of Christmas carols and well-wishers. The Salvation Army outside the store and the cash registers inside both rang as people parted with their money. Not everyone could afford the special items they wanted but most were happy to be out and about. Overall strangers seemed to be friendlier and more outgoing.

I tend to get excited during this time of year. I look forward to giving and receiving. Time with my wife and family is precious to me. Many feel the same way I am sure. Feelings of hope and joy permeate our very being. It is this wondrous feeling that I wish we could hold onto all year round. It comes from a better place within all of us.

My sincerest wish is that we could somehow channel this good feeling anytime we desired. There are plenty of moments of strife and hardship throughout the year. If we could tap into these good feelings we might gain some badly needed perspective. As the year goes on we tend to forget just how generous we are toward others during Christmas time.

The next time I feel short-tempered or am acting short-sighted I will remember this time of year. I will think about the goodness that we display towards each other and how faces seem to brighten because of it. This special feeling we allow in during the holidays. Why not also allow it to shine out more often? Every day could be like Christmas in our hearts and minds.