Change

David Bowie sings about it. Homeless individuals ask for it. Some charities ask you to donate it. Change is also an inevitability. As soon as some aspect of our lives seems to make sense everything goes wonky. We cannot be blamed for our desire for consistency. It is wired throughout our DNA. All of us need at least some portion of our lives to remain the same. As we travel the road of life there is little that stays static.

I have learned this lesson many times. Every time I think I understand the rules they are rewritten. When I am sure someone will always be there they go their separate way. No matter how many times this happens I am still caught by surprise the next time it occurs. Maybe it is because I cannot accept that existence is so chaotic. I so want to believe that there are some people or circumstances that I can count on.

The sad fact is that nothing and no one lasts forever. Knowing this does not make handling it any easier. How can I prepare for so much that is unknown? What plans can I concoct for the future will protect me from hurt and pain? I am drawing a complete blank. I cannot know what tomorrow will bring. Doing the best for myself today is the only way to hedge my bets against an uncertain future.

Here is my confession. I do not do my best each day. I should save more, plan better and work harder. I see myself as lazy. It is difficult using so many "I" sentences. It is risky only talking about my own feelings. Not everyone who reads this will relate to my plight. This is my post today because this issue is on my mind. I hope that I am not alone in how I feel. Maybe others will see that they too are not alone in what they experience.

To persevere through whatever causes mental anguish is laudable. I want to do more than survive my pain. There is strength in numbers. Someday people may actually read my posts. I cannot guarantee I will write consistently. Most of our natures are that of lives in flux. A little less rocking of the proverbial boat would be a nice respite from the choppy seas of life. I just hope I am not a voice alone in the dark. Echo....